I feed her. I walk her. I buy her toys. I feed her treats. I take her to Burger King where they give her a piece of bacon. She can’t wait for my roommate to wake up....

This actually happened to me 12 years ago. Almost got married to a psycho. Lol.

Our species must be closer related than I thought..

A wild cursed post appeared

Gangster lingo

you sly dog

Courage on drugs

Whoops

Every crackhead in Florida right now as bricks of cocaine wash up on the beach

Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming?

Interesting tale of WWII

Curiosity almost killed the cat

Results may vary

its that time again

Too true , they need to up there game ...

nice

Top notch security

YEET

Finally !!

Then they start ying-yang ass sniffing and then start humping..."beautiful day, isn't it?"

Almost ready to go..? "I'm just going to do my hair real quick.." *1hr later:*

Everybody knows about JoJo

Dionysus is my spirit animal

At least he didn't piss himself

unlimited power

You get a role, you get a role, you get a...

The future of medicine?

You spergs and fags

The pact is sealed

Never trust airports...

Bottled water's true nature

Time for some light poetry

Interested.

Jonah Hill of every sort

Steve_harvey

No Risk! No Gain!

I love English!

So much in common

I call that a HurriCocaine.

Your princess is in another castle

Not sorry Florida, -Wisconsin

Spicy kids

School getting up to date !

schlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschl

Finally an explanation for both of these phenomena

I'm like the captain planet of memes

Yeah who?

Fruit flies

I bet this house is down by the river

Sign at my local bar

Not the car you WANT, but the car you DESERVE

My bio teacher is giving bribes for parent/teacher open house

Even when he’s not breaking laws and taking mugshots, Florida Man is still pretty crazy.

When McDonalds is self aware

And the pay sucks

I'm eternal

It has to be on the hour for me personally ...

It is just chalk mom

A wedding invitation, A chair and a sandwich..

Cover up your ex wife’s face 101

Ight imma check out

Fear the almighty kitten!

Lol people over think things so much

That's one way to see it

Tree porn

What is the capital of Texas?

lets start saving some money

Manage a pot shop- dude tried to get in using this. Seems legit, come on in sir.

You aren’t special

The only logical outcome.

FBI approved Terry post

Kid's not wrong

If you don't ask

And i thought he was looking right at the camera.

I can't find any good name for this

friend made some custards. they were supposed to be smiley faces...

Twi Light?

Ramesses II was issued a passport in order to be able to travel to France in 1974.

How tinder girls see height .

Won't see the eggs the same way as I used to before

The Perfect Camping Spot

It's all about results

How to get banned from Walmart

Ooo yaa

The guy is playing for both teams, and still watching it from the grandstand.

Well played, Ikea

Scoop di whoop

Our coworker said we've been slipping on our pranks so we delivered. Can't wait till he finds out two are filled with glitter

I love my dogs

Society in a nutshell

Selling stuff on Craigslist - Part 2

Atleast they’re being honest

Was doing a test and found this, made me laugh

Hurricane got em

He aims to misbehave...

That’s my seat

Bear Neked

thank you very cool.exe has stopped working

I see myself in this

There's a reason the company mascot is a rat