My daughter left her phone out again, so I had some fun with her text replacements.

It had to be from florida

Does this make you spark joy?

YE, wow

This might look like Chewbacca, but it's an impasta.

This actually happened

Demons can't handle my taste in music

Heavy metal band

Shopping cart wheels

Sweets heavily

Seriously competitive Smash players, buy some deodorant

Wheeeeeeeze

Day 2 report: this turkey sandwich is looking mighty thicc

mall resurgence

The crossover we've all been waiting for. Proof that Marilyn Manson and Nicholas Cage are Not the same person

Awesome pic

This should be printed on tshirt

Hope you had a very eerie Halloween

Eyo

yeah, haha, because when you fail an exam you become a pizza mechanic, yeah haha

Four

Will smith smithing will smith

cut penis no jutsu

I appreciate cleanse mother

You thought it was over

Reminder

Xi Jinping arriving at Blizzcon

Found Winnie the Pooh waving the Hong Kong flag in front of BlizzCon.

My co-worker is an amputee. This was her costume.

Something something bootstraps

I’m safe tho

Its that time of year again!

It really does feel like that

come to the land of US backed coups

Stepping Up Your Game Incarnate

Lame Origin Stories: The Flash

She really pulled off her old lady costume

Badass

You people how dare you

Sounds like they're cutting staff

A stable job

The ultimate villain

Lara Craft.

Walking trick or treat caravan umbrella

Can I speak to your manager 2.0

Denny’s is for crackheads

Am I too late to the party?

Why has noone done this before? Thank you creator lol

Howard working at Costco in Moncton NB

Ayy lmao

So it begins

Assisted suicide without consent

Let me take a selfie

I was taco belle last night

Get me an abrams tank and the biggest barrel of whiskey you can find

One day difference.

friend buying half & half with a check at the grocery store on Halloween

It's so realistic

no homo though

You'll doggy-paddle down here. We'll doggy-paddle down here.

Thy is the jester and thee is thine circus

His power is too great

Kids these days...

MWC

Retailers coming into work on Nov 1st

Truth often gets in the way of knowledge

Everyone has to deal with some bullshit

I relate to this too well

Caught my math prof 69 folder

*** you vet

My dad was so proud of the "feetloaf" he made for Halloween. I think he nailed it

after

Is this some sort of couples joke I'm too single to understand

That’s NY for ya

The things mothers do for their children

This Welding Pumpkin

Only in Pittsburgh...

Huh

Lord of the roads

First Post..

With John Cena heading towards physical comedy movies, this image is becoming a reality.

ah yes

It's a literal kangaroo court in there

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?

From Taylor Armstrong’s Twitter. This is f*cking hilarious!

1200 miles from home, a King Penguin is spotted on a beach in South Africa

Yeah, it's boomer time

This happens every day to me... Not the amazing job part, but the mistakes part...

Are you stoned ?

wellwadyaknow

top 10 screenshots taken before disaster

Ho ho ho mother***er

oh no

This can only end well

You ever drank Baileys out of a shoe?

I will jump your wall.

My brother dressed his daughter as himself today for Halloween

Please pray for my dog. He just realized we’re insane

Peter Pan and his shadow played by my nieces. One of them had to be the shadow. She’s so proud back there

This Dalmatian is a bit concerned about the Cruella de Vil look-alike.