Brand new sentence

Two guys just made an "earth sandwich" on opposite sides of the Earth - hold the mayo, please

No wonder it’s cold outside, some dumbass left their freezer open

Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon, Tomato Sandwich!

I don’t know if I should cook this potato, or take it to the hospital?

Interesting Product Names

Guys only want one thing!

music snob

Whoever did this, thank you for making my night! Too funny!

me as a completeionist

Great family and friends! No one snooped the medicine cabinet during our housewarming party.

By The EMPRAH!!!

Warm em up

I design ridiculous product ideas for fun, so I designed a pair of jeans with one giant pocket across the butt for all your essentials.

Thanus

With a door ding..

it do be like that

atta boy

I'm 19 and every now and again my dad gets wasted with his friends and they beg me to drive them to taco bell... My dad is the one with the beer in his shirt pocket

not relatable but understandable

Visiting snow vs living in snow

vidya

Got my kid a shirt to celebrate turning 2.

Everyone needs a day off one in a while

Had an electric day at the children’s museum

Bad boys eating much

Mace "MF" Windu

Bubbles is doing sit-ups

Heckin' chonkers

When an American goes to school and doesn't get shot.

I’ve been drawing these daily grumpy animals for 13 days somebody please save me I don’t know how to stop

I Have Never Pondered This Before

I just came home and see this from my dad

Cheaters never win

sad

TOA

Baby koala on his mother's back

I raise you the door covered with snow drift and give you this...

Workplace Euphemisms

Credits to the Houston Marathon

Mona Lisa

Buzz the winter soldier

My faborite munf!

Surveillance mode

Big brain time ladies and gentlemen..

Seriously, football players should have their own category at Oscars.

My ‘terrifying’ Rottweiler, Bruce.

they are just missing the prequel.

Nice chin dude

Me, an intellectual.

G Roovee M ahn

DON’T BE SELFISH

Anyone ever had fried apples?

He really is.

Lurkers unite

Yep... Yep...

what irony. we love you rosa parks!

Alibaba's origin story

Feeling cute. Might knock your shit off the table, later. Idk.

This sign in a pub

Nobody Gets Me

What? How come?

HAH

With the greatest of ease...

Community challenge. Winner gets the n-word pass!

Some jokes require me to use my Brainyrs

This was supposed to be a cute photo op of my wife and son at the train yard.

Walked outside today morning and saw this

Blessings, ***!

Not like the Simulators.

The savagery is palpable

In Newfoundland, we like to play a game called “Are we clearing the road?”

A Salute To Good Burger!

Caught the suspect trying to break the prisoner out of his cell...

And it's going to happen again!

Based Geralt

Peace was never an option

looool

Yeah.. Bullets.

That's a lot of damage.

This is a metal shot

Adult lives matter

Can I interest you in some....car insurance?

Northeast Canada right now....

Funniest shit ever

This is the cutest and funniest thing ever

Its finally happening.

Wah

Uncover the monster that created you

Long beings are needed in society

Save them now

And they say you can’t hear or taste photos...

Who's laughing meow?

In Minnesota, we like to play a game called "am I on the road?"

My proudest moment

Generwick

Found this in my textbook, I was probably the first person to read it.

they had us in first half not gonna lie

Found this online.........I bought it

Guys, Australia does actually need serious help