My wife told me to put nice pillow cases on the bed. A slave obeys. A man chooses...

Poor Jesus could never fully enjoy pool parties.

I love my mailman. He tries.

    

Somebody put these on cars at my apartment complex

Quite the professional

The SAS of camel warfare.

Nuh uh

Wendy's Is ........PEOPLE !!

This is how you order a pizza

Translation for spice levels at my local Korean reateraunt

can I get uhhhhhhhhhhh self-sufficiency

Yuh Yuh, uh, yuh

Victory is ours

Cat Arrest

Return of the hey

Bloop bloop.

This is the last chemical to be discovered

Aurtist

People in Australia running out of toilet paper

Adventure is out there!

Wamen

Screw your 'fragile' sticker

HAHAHAHAHA AAAAND THEN AND THEN MORTY TURN HIS OVER AND HE'S AHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA HE'S A AHAHAHAHHHHAHA

Sucks to be a bat

Relax david just relax .

Best thing about living with parents

My wife gave me a care package after my vasectomy.

Costumer Service

I guess I’ve finished with my coffee.

Rick-rolling your way to good health.

Respect your traditional ways

Ayyyncient Rome

Every time

     

Concretosaurus Rex

In times of corona I feel threatened by this fortune cookie...

the biggest brain to entertain

I photoshopped a frog and a baby hippo

Cumming to a theater near you.

My gf leaves me this fun game to play after she leaves for work in the morning.

100% gonna steal your Memaw

Don't do it Megaman

The Necromancer

Squad

Oh. Amazon..

yes

Wait-

This is humor

AH FUNK YEA IMMA GO TO THE GYM WHEN I WAKE UP hahahahahahaha

Tell me why

Did you know that George Clooney was born at the age of 31?

Fire foxes

If its well greased, yea

Does work the second time though

needing higher desks to accomodate your fat gut

Coming soon........

Lonelyman and his spaghetti

Goodbye heaven

our time to shine

With the onset of the Coronavirus...

A time and a place

†

Cutelery

mojo jojo

singular

tho you have to admit that the taste really is better

Or you'll go back forever changed

Lemme smash

Quantifying these pixels is less a job for a computer and more a job for the count

Coincidental rebuttal

Australia right now. Corona virus panic has already hit.

Noice

And if I were you, you should...

Meal prep is easy

Close, though?

Lawl

Luminescence

The circle of life

in your local mahala

I Guess its true?

Amazon's version of a CVS receipt.

Love people for how they are.

"you are worth alot to me"

Kitty feels

I feel this one

Bout right there!

sensible chuckle

We received this in the mail today after leaving ‘Coco’ at the Marriott Courtyard in Whippany, NJ. Thank you staff, you rock! Now my 28 year old girlfriend can sleep soundly once more.

Black lab takes selfie with 3 dozen of his mates at a local Doggie Daycare

Idk if this goes here.

Life as an astronaut

Why Would You Ever Do That?

VERY intrigued!

Indestructable

THEY ARE COMMING FOR US

STAY OVER THERE!!

give us this day our daily bread

How is this possible?!?!?

A cool note