Yes please!

Follow me for more festive holiday recepies.

that's kind of racist and non-inclusive tbh

"maybe the jews really are behind everything"

Shop sign in Kyoto, Japan

proprietary physical storage goes brrr

CRUISIN' ON DOWN MAIN STREET

Don't worry about that

I showed my favorite article from The Onion to my wife, and now she won't talk to me.

Ni**a

Never wanted to be in a gang until now

I just thought my teacher’s chemistry booklet would fit here

I owe all my skills to them chicken wings

Un-Presidented

The reboot we all need.

e m b r a c e m o n k e

2 types of florida man

O_o

I'm saving my virginity for crocky

warfare is deception

Unmatched!

Legend tributes Legend

where were you when the empire crumbled

Hot!!!

My 3-year-old yelled, "Look it's the dad from Onward!" Took me a second...

Grogu takin' care of that elf problem for ya.

So this is what a tourist in Italy looks like

And I'm done

my favorite subject was recess and lunch break

The different Asian languages made easy

this game is pure gold

Police Man

And that is a fact.

My friend had a newborn photoshoot with her dissertation

cmon

SMACKDOWN!

Even my french omelette turns into scrambled eggs.

mmm lefa

econobrehst

deer

always keep an action figure of yourself to exaggerate your catch

No rules broken here.

When BAE welcomes you home, but you're happier to see the cat.

Sore Neck

the blood is what makes it good

Arguably the best sport fan banter. Alan “Tongue” and “Willie” Mason

Captain Cat Sparrow

Where did he Gogh?

problemerino

May your days be merry and bright...

Jack of all traits.

He's good at ignoring

Saw this while waiting for my car

Mondays, am I right?

This is super necessary... cause 2020 sucked balls.

Daughter returns home for Christmas tomorrow. Wonder how long it takes her to notice my photocopied face.

All I want for Christmas is...egg

My cousin informs me Canada does not generally play 'Beer Pong'. They actually have their own regional sport, naturally called 'Alcohockey'.

Green Energy

literally magic

When Grandma prioritises the dog over you

If you think you can just remove the dust jacket to get rid of the unnecessary 5" x 7" portrait of Shel Silverstein in your house, you're mistaken.

My daughter’s reaction when dad spilled some salsa on her head

Every holiday my mom dresses her alien statue Paul in different outfits. She out did herself for Christmas

Later virgins

I bought a house!! And now I am an adult. And as such, I wear a suit every day and carry paperwork in my briefcase.

Florida Pawn Shop

Life goes on also ew

Caught Grant by surprise

I hope my 8 year old appreciates this fine elf art I made.

Touch myself whenever I like.

Saw This Graffiti on a Changing Table in a Mens' Room

when my 3000 dollar set up can run the game better than a 300 dollar console

I liked 2 pictures of cross-eyed cats on Instagram and now my algorithm thinks I'm into disabled cats.

Sorry sir didn’t know who I was talking to. Here are the keys to hell VIP

Retard

Ireland moment

Marketing merchandise from Starbucks

If my pie ain't like this, I don't want it

I'm putting mine on a girl!

Beautiful o-o

The original... Maybe

Double check that list...

Monolith mystery revealed

Did they lie tho?

onlynoughtsandcrosses.com

Airport security is gonna be tough

This grants flight, essentially

Very much

Hello there

This is a real nice surprise.

Power!!!!!

I hate my internet

oil me baby

Studied non-stop since february

Damn fake accounts can't cooperate

squats vs. no squats

Thank you Mr. Wizard

... you better hope I don't find out where you live

The classic Christmas card picture progression