Parker pizza boi

My family thinks I like Star Wars. My husband's family thinks I like Star Trek. I don't have the heart to tell them I actually like Battlestar Galactica.

Local police park unmanned cars in attempt to slow drivers down. Someone has taken advantage of the situation...

This is what a pregnant ferret looks like

Joel Osteen during Harvey

My friend works IT at my university and she got this today.

Welp Tarzan is ruined for me

Fuk Boy is all grown up

I am back. I bring you answers

Escalate the lack of escalation

How to solve the gas shortage in the rest of the country not hit by Harvey

My city San Antonio right now. False rumors of a gas shortage causes fear and an actual gas shortage.

:angry:

This is so damn funny

Camping

The University of Minnesota brought their A-game to psych out opposing kickers this year.

Anheuser-Busch is now labeling Bud Light appropriately.

I know that you know what this feels like

If cars had faces

My kind of strip mall. One stop shopping!

I caught my fiancée taking a picture of our dog's butthole

Existential crisis

Found the real cause

Someone parked in the driving lane in my wife's office parking garage, because all the convenient spots were taken. Someone taped this note to the car window.

Atleast he didn't die for nothing

Bacts

An apple a day.

Obviously...

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Not nice guys think sex works a 9-5 job

The 1/3 Reich

River Song is the hero we need

Should've taken the long way around

Even in a disaster no one wants the vegan food

Dangerous

after florida man, now we have polish man

have you considered?

This must be what heaven feels like

It be like that sometimes....

9 minutes till november!

Cats are arseholes.

Ubers new service

Tyrone knew

My partner says I'm immature but I dunnoooo....

Your nose after removing all the blackheads

His name is Barry

Radio stations getting real desperate for listeners

i found a bug

Fan letter

I've got McGregor. 2nd Round with the Bangers & Mash.

Master please..

I Don't Understand How Some Women

Meanwhile today in Texas, Stupidity Reigns.

You're dicking around

Invisible man spotted in the metro!

I'm Chris Hansen, have a seat.

Moses

dudeh

Kindergarten teacher had students trace their hands for the window....creepier than intended

Those are big words for a one year old...

20 million dollars

Apparently this is the most important information about the Pittsburgh airport.

Taxos=gay

Just be more chad next time

Porb

i guess the pricipal was C O L O R B L I N D

"At last, my fort is impenetra... - I've made a huge mistake!"

So Majestic....

My professors favorite joke.

Where are some water type pokémon's?!

SHAMED!!!

Barber: "I want everyone to see how I cut hair, even when I am driving" He then heard: "say no more"

Is Hugh Jackman immortal?

North Texas tomorrow when the pumps run dry

Insert eye roll.....here

Unbeknownst to my grandma, we refer to her pan as the "dick-fryer".

Massive *** on my ass

What are your intentions with our daughter

Barry White

Found the problem in Houston

My Friend Joseph

Sometimes I eat my wife's candy. Today she hid it from me; in the plate cabinet, where I get my plates from, every meal.

That's a hell of a deal

Is it just me or do they eat their pizza like it's dick?

I like this girls style

God bless

When you run out of things to talk about.

NiBBa screwed up

I guess we can call it water-burger now

Sometimes God speaks to you.

Albus, have you seen my make-up bag?

Hero of home depot

/a/ , a magical place

and uhh

love me

2 SPOOPY KEEP SCROLLING!

Found these instructions next to the fur rugs in Ikea Glasgow

best ride

Average Texan. Starting tomorrow.

He stealin yo girl