My wife hates clowns. I hid the new IT clown in her background image.
Right... so, that's called "the price."
hi, babe
that pic is so 2015
JUST DO IT !
Too much NGag maybe
Growing up.
Stormtrooper detention
That escalated quickly for a children's book...
WTF, W?
Land of the free, home of the hazards!
If heaven exists
i am a pussy magnet
***Magic
Paint skills on point.
I wonder how Patty is doing these days
Guess we know why anyone speaks to WasteofBreath (it's totally not me, really)
don't dead, open inside
Ooh no
Keeping a sense of humor in the face of a hurricane
Dont halt without a belt
The biggest catastrophe this weekend
sponge bob is one thicc b
A life hack
My wife asked me to grab something in the bedroom, this was waiting for me... I chose the right woman
I'd pay $10
New sign popped up at the local watering hole today
The American midwest in one picture.
My friends preparations for hurricane Irma.
My sister found this bra at Goodwill
Is that a banana is your pocket?
Parents advice......never helped
He came out, looked at me and was all "bro, do you even lift?".
It's like they're rubbing it in.
Meanwhile at Wal-Mart
I would definitely take up farming
This turtle is implying I'm not cool enough to eat with him. He doesn't want to say it, but he's definitely hinting.
The previous note in my hotel room
Snake awareness
Ezekiel Elliott
Somehow I'm not convinced...
Saturday plans be like
Windsurfer During Hurricane Irma
Is it too soon yet?
Saving money that way
It's everyday comrade
Alchemy 101
My roommates and I write erotic fridge poetry when we get drunk.
I am proud to see that my dog will protect me no matter what
Wisdom
Splitting a chocolate bar with the wife, it was pretty obvious which half was hers.
Good game
For reals! Which one of you is it?
Elon Musk was inspired by Lilo and Stitch for his new SpaceX suit
"I did not hit her, I did not"
This is how my 2.5 year old niece insists on holding her new baby brother
It works
he is a bit of a moron
I´m waiting...
My dating life in a different nutshell...
You can never beat those robots
I love my fellow Floridians.
"Traps aren't gay"
Relatable
My dog is very popular among street cats
How villains are born
Want serious answers people
I was asking myself why the hell this guy is staring at me all the time.
My friend's baby looks like he just got done working out
This beer has the best label I've ever seen.
Just so everyone is aware
(:F)
please just do it now
Google - Now hiring, no need to apply
Break line of sight...
wat was it before
Last night is a blur....
It's gonna be a big one boys!
i have 30 years of surpressed autism
Looks like hurricanes have now become sentient and self aware
Pathetic
Peasants
Fagguette
rawr XD
soon
Tony Squawk
Don't forget snow...
A necessity for camping
My dating life in a nutshell...
The elevator I was in broke down. I looked in the emergency phone box because I had no signal and this is all there was.
I don't think that's the best idea
The scene before escaping Irmalrog
What's the forecast in ft. Lauderdale Ollie?
Yup. This happened.
No one really knows
The real danger area
My Girlfriend thought she was funny....
How traffic happens
How Jesus walked on the water
Respecting woman is number 1 priority!!!!