It's the story of your life And the end of it's your death And every word that's in between Is just a waste of breath
399,148 Gold Club
If you'd like I can have my team follow up with you after this.
That one person in the chat group chat who never talks, but reads everything
Never take it to a hotel room.
You are what you eat
Speak for yourself
Ted should turn himself in.
That damned squirrel.
Just another bot account
Working from home
Just freak me up
Beep boop bop bep
OK, this one is better
Ah ok, well that explains a few things
Randomly seen in traffic today.
At today's Senate Hearing
Only one question echoed through my mind
Twice the pleasure...
I'd rather not open the box if I can't use a turtle.
I'll admit it took me a minute to get the joke, I am not a smart woman
Best Burn Roasts Circuit City
I replaced his favourite ball and this was his reaction
Hot wings and even hotter questions.
My friends dog fell asleep in the snow
It all started at a little place called Harvard...
Swiggity Swooty I’m coming for that booty
Every day, for 3 years, I sent my friend photos of this strange looking dog because it thoroughly annoyed him. Then I decided to step up my game...
TOYS R bUSted
Courier: Package left under doormat.
There is definitely a treasure behind this wall.
Rare picture of Mark Zuckerberg enjoying his morning human beverage
My mother went to her physical therapist this morning and texted me. My linked watch has a small screen.
It still is here
I just typed 'odd' into my gif bar and this popped up. I was not disappointed.
S-Susan . . . ?
#10 seems a little... awkward.
Only a reptile would wear this atrocity
z u c c
Both cat and dog know the sound of me dialing take out. This is them waiting patiently for the Chinese delivery guy.
If it works, I'll buy a crate!
Hiring hacker like a pro!
Needs more jpeg
A surprise to be sure
Japanese Commercials are on a whole other level
Stay safe kids...
Age appropriate chores
When your Siblings are handsome but YOU must rely on your Charm :p
Increase smile 20%, maintain eye contact, human fooled
Don’t think I ever read this one.
My Priest Helped Me Beat It When I Was Young
Russia's high tech missile defense system
Got a match?
So Barber Can I Please Have...
My dog's facial expressions when I didn't turn towards the dog park.
Anon goes to a party
A friend of mine is a lawyer. He wore these to family court today.
zucc is ready to cuck
Everyone keeps comparing Zuckerberg to Data when the real answer was right before us all along. Zuckerborg.
Growing up large
Left me at a loss for words
I know what I’m gonna do
My wife found this in a parenting book, we have toddler triplets
As a Texan, this is a must pack item
Anon supports gay rights
This is so sad
When you get summoned to the judiciary committee for leaking users personal information for more than 10 years.
I implor u to spare the yoddler