Military commands to live life by

Damn millennials!

*Stares in Dad*

My dishwasher has the same settings as my girlfriend.

PH knows their audience

Every damn semester!

Hal is the greatest of all the on screen dads

Got ya

How to comment on this site ✔

Who doesn't like cheese?

My girlfriend’s grandparents get it

stewing in his emotions

The look on this cat's face.

time to churn some butter

Damn it, Patrick!!!

Jimmy’s Seafood has quite possibly the most savage twitter out there

Speed checked by RADAR.

I'm in pain right now

One Does Not Simply Walk

Font is everything

What have I become..?

Begone, hoe

it's not me

When you want to have fun but these damn slides won’t allow you

This angry deer

And thus, humanity was saved

Realising he's the only one on the flight, he spent the whole flight taking pictures of himself in every seat.

Canadian porn

Fun!

"Stylus"

My local pd posted this

very wrong

Not Slytherin eh?

Soccer mom repellant

This watch your step sign at a restaurant I was at today

This is bound to be educational for some

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

relatable

Put A Shoe On The Dogs Bone To Scare The Crap Out Of People

Link is into some stuff, I see

Mean pony

My niece discovered the cat door today.

My cat is still adjusting to our new baby.

Jana's friends didn't consider both sides of the balloon idea

I've had customers like this

*hits head with armor gloves while mocking king arthur*

Ruthless Geoffrey

oh c’mon steve

awww ye

How to prove your friends wrong!

As a dad of preteens, I laughed harder than I should have...

That trailer life..

I used to work at a restaurant that purchased Land O'Lakes Buttered Milk in bulk...

Young Dave Grohl looks like a dark-haired Bean

Please come back Duddy -18

I've had too many moments like this

　

1...2...Freddies learning new ways to kill you

How May I Help You?

Why mom, why?

My cat Paco.

Me too catto, me too.

Networking by Inigo

Corn always survives

Everyday this little guy jumps into my pool, swims into the filter and eats all of the bugs that cycle through. He hasn’t had to work for his dinner in months.

Sure, Kurt Cobain was great, but Nirvana was never the same for me after Charles Barkley left.

That hits the spot

Gotta swerve grandpa when he starts feeling himself off that Geritol.

heh 9/11

This is a real product. Not a good idea though

01010100 01100001 01101011 01100101 00100000 01100101 01101101

These trivia signs are used in Australia to keep drivers alert on long and boring roads

benny boi

not again

wait? what? panini?

Lonely Cell

No Take Backs

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Tagged vs Profile pics, Tattoo edition

This turtle has seen some shit

commitment

everyone did it didn't you ?

[Sweating Loudly]

plebs

LPT: when you fart, blame it on them

start um yong

can’t fight the middle ages can ya

When everything went the other way...

New theory, the Earth isn’t flat, it is doughnut

*** this guy in particular

“Fake smile act normal”

These cats seem so interested huh

"SANDRA CAN YOU OPEN THIS ***ING THING BIT OF A SITUATION HERE"

Invention

Albert !!!

Pilot told us we had a delay of 30 mins before landing. This is how he decided to spend that time.

(☭ ͜ʖ ☭)

It has to happen, don’t let dream be dreams

Nick Mason of Pink Floyd on being a drummer

The future is a strange place. I never could have imagined that Snoop Dogg would be teaching my kid about computers, but here we are.