What my week old spaghetti sees when I'm microwaving it at 4 am

Useful instructions

The big mistake banner

Perfectly planned life.

To get an ironic gift

Doctrine is for amateurs

its not gay

Did you know

Why do people send hum this?

Cursed

OOOOOO!!!!!!!

I like her style.

Will always prevent bullying

Today’s Southern Grammar Lesson: Contractions

Live. Laugh. Love.

What we actually learned

Our post

Take note, guys.

more boosette pls

Perpetual torment

Like a Big Pizza Pie

My daughter’s reaction to chocolate ice cream.

Just saved $543

Spooky Szn

The most funniest thing I've read all day

I’ll take two rolls please.

Whoever writes these is so spicy

Impressive feat!

....

My mom was complaining about her internet being slow, so I checked when her old ethernet cable was made.

Hi ! My name is Jack.

Fall in Florida

Autumn Meal Prep

Fk yes

When you girls like this on insta

heh

Good guy papa john

Contractions

My favorite birthday card ever. From my sister.

I do not recommend

he said that

A Backhanded Compliment

I took a 2 hour nap to recover from my earlier nap

When you go to get a flu shot and the pharmacist is your doppelgänger

Sniffany

Poster child

She didn’t get the memo

I’m ready for my close up....

I can do Science!

My rescue dog Allen

Memory Foam.

Cow photobombing a horse

This the right number

If I had a store

Sleep terrors

gottem

The Evolution of Horror

90 kids will remember.

Black Widow's fighting technique

No one thinks you're funny Karen

Vacation at Last

I don't think that's true

DAM.

Burnout pie

oh no

My daughter was born sick of our shit

the discovery of calcium

Bongo Bebop

Poor Leif

Heit is mei oide gstrobn

"It's alright you can wake up 5 min later" said the body

Azkaban should be happiest place on earth

Hide and Seek Champions

Nothing can help

Oh shid

Ex

You've heard of Floridaman now, Kansasman.

Michael Myers is terrifying

Veey simple times

Leonardo DiCaprio is slowly morphing into Jack Nicholson

Columbus Day

Sex is temporary. SpongeBob is eternal.

Can’t afford 20” rims? No problem...

Hulk Vader

I walk a lonely path

Perfect solutions !!!!

My neighbor, using the gate to a fence as a raft, after hurricane Irma hit. He turned to me and yelled, "I feel like a true Haitian now."

Someone's jimmies are clearly rattled

Mouldy mildew, mother of mouthmuck, dangle and strangle and death.

Best greeting ever

Not gonna waste them

Turns out the Mayans predicted something right.

ДА СОМЯАДЁ IТ IS VEЯУ SРООKY

Went to a Renaissance Faire today.

This scene did not age well

A map of every European city

We're going to be late for school!

Want some snickers?

Applying for jobs be like

The “I need to talk to your manager”