Anybody remember Jack Handey

I’m gonna take my horse to the...

Feeling cute, might puke on the carpet later idk

Going home

No excuse for a typo

My daughter can play hind and seek with the best of ‘em.

C'mon people!

Our kids are learning at an early age.

Found this in a candy shop the other day

They got me in the first half though, not gonna lie

double standards

You know what? Never mind...

Just hanging out...

I work at a call center. I like to draw my callers. I call this one: Every old person that has ever given me their email.

I had a bout of laughter because of this

Happy Birthday He-Crewes

Attempting to grow weed isn't illegal

We’ve all seen this somewhere

This ain't possible

Went to the bathroom but didn't know how to use the three shells

reader beware

Programmer's life, somewhere in the world!

Only people with square PP can understand this

He is not of this world

Goosebumps

School year incoming!

Dad logic

Summer is finally here

It’s only a flesh wound

Envious

Wow no way

Caw and Order

Raspberries make great lego hair

My in-laws went to Italy on holidays and brought pasta for everyone in a rush. They didn't pay much attention to the shape...

“Finally! A puppy friend! We’re gonna have so much fun chasing squirrels and playing ffFFFFAAAHHHHHHHGGGGG”

One is missing

Dumbass

Found this on our towns fb page

Behold, the majestic Potoo bird

Josh: "Video games"

This pain scale at my docters office

He’s helping!

all this nostalgia

'Sandlot' star Patrick Renna visits original sandlot from the film with his son. "I swear he just pointed!"

Dog

By no means a coincidence

checkmate

Google tryna get me killed.....

And a movie?

Piglet Puzzle.

My kid is at the “S” stage in life.

At an ice cream place we saw on vacation

I wonder if I'm in it

Oh yes!

those hoes only think about themself

Olivia has some good responsible friends.

Hen taking care of kittens during storm.

I deliver packages for Amazon, and came across this high tech security system.

Perhaps I have

Haribo made a scissor candy that looks quite a bit like a penis

When boys wake up

Jesus Chwist

What was he thinking?!

That’s one guilty-ass looking dog

BRING OUT YOUR DEAAAD!

Grammatically correct

Well I'm not even mad I lost my flop now..

Lovely cat!

‪Where are they now? Clippy after being laid off from Microsoft as the Office Assistant. ‬

I just realized a thing in my sons shirt.

New window tint designed to prevent police brutality

A folded Hamilton $10 + a Jackson $20 = The Hottest Founding Father Ever!

"Do what you must. I have already won."

What I can only imagine was Winston Churchill’s nightmare...

Tips on loading screena

is that a weapon or a penis

Interesting

careful she is a

Just overthink

carrot and veggies

Add a few bucks for tomato loving squirrels.

righteous stonking honkers

And he still got a 5 star review.

Cupid was usually all about bringing people together, but after a few drinks he turned mean....

anon knows how to cheer someone up

Epic sunburn

Thieves!!

thats actually a good idea

he had no choice

Be honest, you read this line last...

Go get your probe ready

My brother and I have been hiding a decorative skeleton on each other for months. Today, he went for a run and left his car here. So naturally...

My friend wants to start being more positive, but doesn't want to give up his dark brooding image. So I made him some stickers.

Gotta work out the kinks.

I’ll take the toasted one please

The "Improved Pain Scale" at my chiropractors office

Was bored at the car,Tried to match my face to abe lincoln on the 5$ bill and it WORKED !

Just re-arranged my friend's DVD collection. How long before he notices?

I work at a sign shop. Here's today's gold.

Rambo 20