Fitness app

Pro tip: to drain all the oil squeeze the car real good

This sign at the local park

Uhhh...no thanks

As a married man with children under 6.

The kool aid man's morning routine

Pilot set off a door alarm, but security needs to come check it out. He's been covering the siren for 5 minutes.

Wait hold the *** up

Oh sorry, I never got your message

Sign I made for my front door - made with some inspiration from a post here a while back.

This propane tank

Elmo! No!

Just Asian stuff

Don't mess with the turtle

A wild shadowg appears

Canadian aircraft carrier

Cool college professor.

At my Cardiologist's office

How’s Waldo?

Drunk vs high

My local movie theater thinks they’re hilarious

Pineapple + Turtle = ...Pineturtle?

Psh, Dex Fighter is where it's at

Nose, get on it

Vrrrr...

My grandma collects cacti, she says this one will only grow 6 inches.

I mean, it’s correct tho

First post blah blah... I created this 10 years ago to impress a girl I was seeing . Just found it on my previous computer and still think it's kinda funny

Magic Marker

to bad Da Rules forbids killing

Fight fire with fire!

Make sure to spread it evenly.

He Knows What’s Up

You need 3 English speakers or two Spanish speakers for this desk.

Not Slytherin, eh?

I require your assistance

Godzilla is free

My boyfriend doesn’t think he looked like McLovin as a kid.

Finally some good ***ing news

My uber driver told me that there is water bottle with "your name" on it under the seat and this is what I was given

We went to the beach to find shark teeth, so when my daughter yelled "I found teeth!" this was the last thing I was expecting

To tell or not to tell

Half Life SFX posting #6

wisdom

This had me laughing ....

Well he got two extra marks

A Drive with Dave Chapelle

An apple a Day..;)

Keep out of the danger zone

My cat always looks like he has anxiety. Yes, he always looks like this.

Surely this will not end well

My front door. It works!

R rated

Getting married in a week and hosting the reception at our home. Hid this in our medicine cabinet.

*Several people are swearing...*

Hard Time

Gotta buy em somewhere

Can’t stand ‘em

Is that a dance?

Not even Jeremy Clarkson’s genius can figure that out

The greatest hero of the 20th century.

Lift Kit

I kills dis for you

Nice

Like the sun

I look forward to the National Aquarium of New Zealand's naughty/good penguins every month!

the dark pact

Huh

a spark

Sometimes you gotta do what ya gotta do

Barbie has always been the luckiest ***.

Hurricane Dorian has awoken something from the deep

this goes deeper than we thought

Paging UnexpectedMulaney

To-Do List

Lying pancake store

Perfection

F  

Successfully failed

Extreme JENGA...

most effective signboard to deter outdoor urination.

Probably the most relatable meme I've ever seen

Goofy

Dad :(

Real vs movie scientist

There goes my hero...in a half shell.

That's why I don't eat anything

reference

Chick-fil-a is life.

Calm down man

Niger

Why does this work?

Super Heaven

Saw this on the wall of the resturant I ate at

This painting from the men's bathroom

Nothing like the shell of your childhood store being used to sell Halloween stuff.

I might burn for this one

self-esteem, pass it on

Not mine, but Obamos is too good.

This took me a second..but just a second