My neighbor's toddler was a little too quiet.

Thomas Jefferson writing the declaration of Independence

Last year my roommate threw a rotting pumpkin in the yard. This year we have a pumpkin patch.

Ice cream coniferous

Double take.

It's a NO NO!

What the second amendment was written for

My fiance sent me this, and it sums up our relationship accurately

Probably a dog from IKEA with unclear instructions and missing/extra parts

Always help your friend

Title

Drugs are bad mmmkay

The kind of chair that’s perfect for the 9th person to come over...

Age of the tracks or age of the kids?

'Time, gentlemen please.....'

My laundry is doing better than me

Hope this hasn’t been posted already

The sky today in Alabama

How to drive on a highway, explained by an educated driver

Mike Tyson has a low carbon footprint.

By popular demand, here's a deck pic for all the ladies.

I think I need some straight talk

I wouldn't know

Think how much bros we have now.

Hashtag do it

it's all the rage

She’s been staring at me from across the bar for an hour now. Should I say hi?

anime Steve Jobs

Friends to the end

A true classic.

Well that’s a little over dramatic

Unholy wateer

Make it C*nt!

Well it was bound to happen

Only 20 miles

If u know you know

Woke up to find a stray chicken nesting on our grill this morning.

She has ballet right after hockey. This is the only way to make it on time!

I pray for death

Damn that's cruel.

Today we witness the birth of our new champion

Toothpaste

We all bark down here

The one man avenger!

Wise one

The only thing better than the name of this bar is sign outside of it. Found in Rome

Do not disturb

The underworld never looked so chic

Behold The Butthole

Resurrection of Iron Man

Tell me about your problems

what an amazing gun

Look Backseat, I did it!

Attention dog owners...

Soooo frustrating

My 8 year old came running up the beach yelling "I found $100". I ran to see. I was disappointed, he was super happy.

If they even bother to ring...

Eminem sharing M&M with other Eminems in 2001

Alabama Communists

I never get invited to these kinds of parties..

Lord of the Things.

Im memory of Roger Bucklesby.

*sad antisocial noises*

title

UNintentionally ...!

Anyone else experienced Poseidons kiss?

Real dog meets his Lego counterpart

Cat viewed from under the glass table

My new life motto

Probably still covered by insurance

Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor

So many different Emotions in such a short amount of time

Raising your hand is for kids. Adults just talk over people

hypocrisy?

I would like to join this religion please....

He be snookin

Fitness app

Pro tip: to drain all the oil squeeze the car real good

This sign at the local park

Uhhh...no thanks

As a married man with children under 6.

The kool aid man's morning routine

Pilot set off a door alarm, but security needs to come check it out. He's been covering the siren for 5 minutes.

Wait hold the *** up

Oh sorry, I never got your message

Sign I made for my front door - made with some inspiration from a post here a while back.

This propane tank

Elmo! No!

Just Asian stuff

Don't mess with the turtle

A wild shadowg appears

Canadian aircraft carrier

Cool college professor.

At my Cardiologist's office

How’s Waldo?

Drunk vs high

My local movie theater thinks they’re hilarious

Pineapple + Turtle = ...Pineturtle?

Psh, Dex Fighter is where it's at

Nose, get on it