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My new life motto
Probably still covered by insurance
Elizabeth Alexandra Mary Windsor
So many different Emotions in such a short amount of time
Raising your hand is for kids. Adults just talk over people
hypocrisy?
I would like to join this religion please....
He be snookin
Fitness app
Pro tip: to drain all the oil squeeze the car real good
This sign at the local park
Uhhh...no thanks
As a married man with children under 6.
The kool aid man's morning routine
Pilot set off a door alarm, but security needs to come check it out. He's been covering the siren for 5 minutes.
Wait hold the *** up
Oh sorry, I never got your message
Sign I made for my front door - made with some inspiration from a post here a while back.
This propane tank
Elmo! No!
Just Asian stuff
Don't mess with the turtle
A wild shadowg appears
Canadian aircraft carrier
Cool college professor.
At my Cardiologist's office
How’s Waldo?
Drunk vs high
My local movie theater thinks they’re hilarious
Pineapple + Turtle = ...Pineturtle?
Psh, Dex Fighter is where it's at
Nose, get on it
Vrrrr...
My grandma collects cacti, she says this one will only grow 6 inches.
I mean, it’s correct tho
First post blah blah... I created this 10 years ago to impress a girl I was seeing . Just found it on my previous computer and still think it's kinda funny
Magic Marker
to bad Da Rules forbids killing
Fight fire with fire!
Make sure to spread it evenly.
He Knows What’s Up
You need 3 English speakers or two Spanish speakers for this desk.
Not Slytherin, eh?
I require your assistance
Godzilla is free
My boyfriend doesn’t think he looked like McLovin as a kid.
Finally some good ***ing news
My uber driver told me that there is water bottle with "your name" on it under the seat and this is what I was given
We went to the beach to find shark teeth, so when my daughter yelled "I found teeth!" this was the last thing I was expecting
To tell or not to tell
Half Life SFX posting #6
wisdom
This had me laughing ....
Well he got two extra marks
A Drive with Dave Chapelle
An apple a Day..;)
Keep out of the danger zone
My cat always looks like he has anxiety. Yes, he always looks like this.
Surely this will not end well
My front door. It works!
R rated
Getting married in a week and hosting the reception at our home. Hid this in our medicine cabinet.
*Several people are swearing...*
Hard Time
Gotta buy em somewhere
Can’t stand ‘em
Is that a dance?
Not even Jeremy Clarkson’s genius can figure that out
The greatest hero of the 20th century.
Lift Kit
I kills dis for you
Nice
Like the sun
I look forward to the National Aquarium of New Zealand's naughty/good penguins every month!
the dark pact
Huh
a spark
Sometimes you gotta do what ya gotta do
Barbie has always been the luckiest ***.
Hurricane Dorian has awoken something from the deep
this goes deeper than we thought
Paging UnexpectedMulaney
To-Do List
Lying pancake store
Perfection
F
Successfully failed
Extreme JENGA...
most effective signboard to deter outdoor urination.
Probably the most relatable meme I've ever seen
Goofy
Dad :(
Real vs movie scientist
There goes my hero...in a half shell.
That's why I don't eat anything
reference
Chick-fil-a is life.
Calm down man
Niger
Why does this work?