My wife confiscated this note from a student today on her first day of substitute teacher.

The autobahn does not conform to the laws of physics

Why so serious

...agger

he looks like he has the big stupid now

You can't spell "Steal" without "EA"

Masterclass from the master himself

assemble

Am jealous on NASA

Slinky porn

do american kids really all have to draw a family tree or is it just a movie thing?

What a magnificent ᴄunt

An interesting concept

Frenfrenfrenfrenfrenfren

I accidentally gave this to a cashier and couldn't figure out why she was staring at my "quarter" for so long.

When your mom alpha

doggo

Put up in my high school’s library

I'm washing my ball

Dry AF

That would suck

*In deep booming voice* "Where the fuᴄk are my nuts human?"

Way to go Chad

Life is more like a straw

I cri evritiem

Relatable

1/5 stars

Happy Anniversary to this lil tub of pineapple cottage cheese - it has now survived SEVEN years in our work fridge without being thrown out! I take a picture with it each year.

Well that was..... Unexpected.

I'll die fapping

What a joker..

Dammmm

*yawning*

We're all in this together

so we don't accidentally call them

Will The Big Woman Be There?

This is either very daunting or motivational.

My liya trying to fake a fit when brought a new kitty from shelter..SO CUTE!!

Know the feeling you get when the middle seat is open next to you on a flight? I can beat that...

Shake and run

My fiancée's grandma got me this shirt. She doesn't know what Breaking Bad is, nor that I like it. She only knows that I'm Hispanic and "like graphics."

Still the greatest song of all time

Caaaaaannn do

I need this...

Only real men

But when I want to tattoo a baby suddenly *I'M* the villian

Where can I find the

Inside

Don't park in a scaffolder's spot..

I can't, I'm turning the tables

So elegant

Does this ever happen to u?

You have evolved!

swedish police doing gods work

*or celebrity

Anxiety Prime

At Least He's Wearing His Warning Label

ISIS = F

Number Neighbor

Stremf

oh you are a villain alright, just not a super one

Noobmaster69

Poor font choices ...

Old grandmother`s carpet

My cat Mahogany on Instagram vs IRL.

s a d

a simple OOF but quite unbreakable

When your shitty OC gets 6 upvotes, but you refuse to steal memes.

蒼い風がいま

i SHIT more hours than that

My experience when everyone says "there's plenty of fish in the sea".

sequel posting

kaichou

Noodle

Shosple colupis

Now the curse will let go of him and he can finally grow old

I failed at achieving comedy

tales from the childhood of a thot destroyer

Results after a tornado hit my gated community.

Either way I want to go fishing.

updated meme

Don’t have a cow, Kiss fans!

A glass half full of poison is still half full

he will be the 20 year old with 40 years of experience

It’s a bird, It’s a plane.

It hurts to look at

Those who know how to program a VCR will get this

I'd date me, I'd date me so hard.

OSHA

I don't know how my roommate managed to capture this beautiful moment

Why yes, I do carry this bucket around.

Pet Ownership

For you lonely bois out there

All problems solved!

I work for a plastics company and made myself a desk friend :)

The 10 seasons of Wisconsin, according to our local news station

Sign my friend saw in Germany this morning.

Both are still lava.

Growing up is a beautiful thing

Plus getting up to go to work