*pulls out phone*

hydration is my waifu

I asked my pregnant wife how she's feeling. She sent me this in response.

Just use your mouth

I hate it haha

This is his “thinking box”. I often find him here pondering life’s great questions

I don’t know what this man did, but I’m here for it.

I think I arrived at the white time

Ah yes

“Can’t wait for bust these bad boys out honey!”

Start learning

I CAN CHOP ANYTHING

seems pretty wholesome

thats one bold thief I tell ya hwhat

I'm listening

Future Tesla driver

It’s mail time

must be about me

#NoTrust I feel like this sign was made by a crafty duck #gotanygrapes

the forbidden cracker

payback time bitсh

iPoo'd

my name is society

I love wholesome fan art

Meanwhile in Kentucky...

Seen in Edinburgh

Almost same

The saddest of loses

Tide Pool

Mom found the poop sock

???

I've never been a man

With all the snow in Canada already

Racism is no more

Nooooo

The chaotic neutral energy in this is off the charts

So my co-worker went into the gas station with his phone linked to the car...

Every wondered what those holes in pizza boxes are for?

My cat doesn’t trust me anymore!!

He did his best

China gonna hate me

Where were the slutty teachers when I was in school?

Found my spirit animal..

Kid going to prison

Hanks.

Cat like reflexes

C A T N I P

Drunk driver gets bamboozled

stomach tease

school physics

beautiful

Going to mars

Protecting your personal data: Bulgarian style

I was going to clean my room, but then I got high

Old but still makes me chuckle

Who else is hungry?

bro...

Wee can all sleep easy now

Valiant effort by the UPS guy

TOSS

Internet Explorer did it again

ecosia

A small wish.

Meanwhile in Bologna

Mines Wolverine but I guess that works too

Bing saying it, like it is.

Went out to the bars and dropped my card. Drunk guy found it & messaged me on Facebook saying that he put it in a bush for me to find. He did his best

Relatable

Lets talk

Dark Side of the clueless

Relatable

Meanwhile in Prague

pffrt

Thx mum

radioactive meme

This is scary

If avocados were in Minecraft.

“Discovered “

Welp

Thank you for sharing

And he sticks the landing!

nico nico nii

Sure, Minecraft

I love bing

They're just normal people who like to sell drugs

   

big F

Just saw this hearse. I giggled, and thought any other person macabre sense of humor would also enjoy!

Perrrrfect

Belongs here

Reverse centaur makes everyone uncomfortable

TIL our IT guy loves caramels.

Oh yeah ...

Sometimes you need a good cry, so I designed the Sobbing Spectacles to soak up all your tears.

Feline abuse

Just keep the block cheese in the deli with all the other damn cheese.

I kahooted it

The greatest crossover event right here.

This complicates things.

The NBA just release their new logo concept