My fiance tried to have our groceries delivered today. She said she wanted five bananas and somehow the woman misunderstood and bought THIRTEEN POUNDS OF BANANAS

Today I babysat my son for the first time while his mother was out

Needy robots

Well, that's new...

Mmm, teeth shards, my favorite

Japan: First time?

Operation: Human Shield should be come a thing

wii

that's bad

The ensemble is complete

He’s already seized control of my house, now he figures he can take over the whole planet.

I've been sick all weekend and needed a break from watching TV

He is right though

A Christmas tale in three acts

Autismo

It happens to the best of us

In five years, these will be considered the new ragefaces, so enjoy it while it lasts

My friends are convinced my dad is a vampire cause these pictures are taken 21 years apart, and he doesn't look like he's aged much.

brrrRrRRrrrRrrRrrrRrRRrrRrRrrrrRRRrrRrrrrrrRrrrrrRrrrRrrrRrRRr

hat

In societate habitamus

Anctartica, the confusing continent...

turntables

I've decided on my new nickname and it isn't James Bond.

STAY away from such DARK WAYS

I'm going to be rich

Isabelle would not approve

Tom Brady channeling his inner dwarf for yesterday’s game.

My friend’s Luke Skywalker toy happened to break in the perfect spot.

Nethermind

ego sum qui innocentes

THIS is why i CUT my dick OFF

Hot Wheels Cheech and Chong edition

but PEACE is no way to get REELECTED

Make it more orange!

Lens > House

WWJD? Probably my favorite bumper sticker I've seen.

"HAHAHAHAHA I MADE A MISTAKE WHEN I WROTE THE YEAR HAHAHAHA"

That makes me uncomfortable

The holidays are rough on everyone

Today my friend ate a fortune cookie.

Jehova Witness final exam

World Class Game

Bought two bread loaves and a cat loaf

Time for some meta meming

First day of snow in my city, I look out and this is what I see.

Peak feminism

So many Stonetoss clones these days, it's hard to keep up with all of them

lord knows id nuke

What WW3 will really be about

thank you, Florida.

I don't want to set the world on fire~

ergo sum

What's going on?

Excuse me sir your tank is open!

low cost cosplay spider man

A squeagle! I love photoshop!

It took me a minute too

Oh he paid them back, alright

All the social media bs right now

He’s trying his darn best!

She thought she was gonna get an actual koala bear

Store owner said he no longer gets harassed by Jehovahs

Krispy

Dancing_baby.gif

What if god was one of us?

googled "netipot" today, was vry confused by this photo at first glance...

Was looking at Cards against Humanity reviews on Amazon and saw this....

Got a leaf blower for Xmas. But I like to pretend it's a futuristic railgun.

This infectious disease hospital having its windows decorated

Such a kind stranger

Wait officer.

Oreo lovers

OUch!

no scope

Rosa Parks can’t get a break with those buses

Amazon sells these little pink stickers. Who says money can’t buy happiness?!

Rebel...

And it will take 4 times shorter to get from nukes to nuclear-powered sexdolls that can kill you

Literally every "Twitter-Terminator"

Like & subscribe

custom

New Austin Powers movie poster

WW2 flashbacks

Beats me.

I went to pet him. I guess he just wasn’t in the mood.

No Aussies Here!

Aussie Vamps

Sarah’s Scribbles 2020 calendar out here predicting the future.

Top 10 saddest anime deaths

When my cat walks on my keyboard

vibe check incoming

cant wait

I R O N I C C

Arnold's unique sense of style.

Beer Math

Experience is the most valuable kind of knowledge

I have newfound patriotism in my small crap country for staying away from war (*touch wood*)

I mixed a cat with a moth for your amusement

Coming to theaters