My daughter used markers to put “makeup” on her dolls. I tried to wash them. Cinderella had an especially rough night.

Poor guy just wants to sing.

Was trying to take a cute, sexy pic for my boyfriend when suddenly I lost my balance.

John Woke

He sandwich.

"The universe must have wanted us to run into each other today!"

Advanced dad jokes.

Separated at birth.

If only I was a famous actor

Coronavirus

Haha yes

I hate when this happens. It disappoints me immeasurably and ruins my day

Just following the doctors orders

Me at Jab inderview - Haha yes

Why yes, Amazon, I would be very interested in knowing when he writes something new

Day 5 of state of emergency: 5 o'clock somewhere....tiki snow fort time! Just have to dig the firepit out...

This hits different

It do be like that

Probably because he wants more food even though I JUST fed him.

Now I know how to approach people with this kinda tattoo

when i want to upload a long video but i quickly need it to be <6 MB

Refund policy

Googled baby weight after putting on a few pounds recently. Was not disappointed.

guilty as charged

There is no such thing as too much RGB

Walking order

Knowledge is overrated

Dummkopf.

busty wisdom

No vacancy

gone, like tears in the rain

Chewsy

I dont mind the latter

Lobster Royale

*** and ball torture

More sad than funny really, but a one in a million shot

Cool guys don't look at the explosion.

Eh, its just a scratch

Everyone deserves a chance to be loved

Maybe that island isolated from the rest of the world that killed anyone who might transmit diseases and viruses had the right idea.

If you can't see the virus, the virus can't see you

Wait a second... What the hell did I just see?

We have Brexit over here I guess

Any REM fans out there?

Life's hard, kid.

FREE CVS scarves...

where are u Craigy poo

Watchusaytome?

Beginning of the week vs the end of the week dealing with the public

God of Diodes.

And all of a sudden it was Sunday morning...the drugs had worn off, and Larry wasn't a hottie smuggler in a spaceship flying across the universe with his Wookie anymore.

The logic used by cats while eating

survival of the fittest

Pimp vader

What about the mile high club

Bernie 2020 - Make America Poor Again

I'm sorry for this

I finally found good use for my meal prep containers

Die I must

How to find Kentucky on the map!

fu*king furries

try tasting it

and y'all do nothing but beetch about it smh

/ourvirus/

Those poor people

Glad my room is to the left. For some reason the right side of this hotel floor doesn't sound peaceful.

Can I get an Awww man.

This house has not been unlocked yet.

It was a trap

Cats quotes: I may not be loyal as a dog is but i never gonna tell them where you keep your Drugs . I ain't no snitch!

My cousin’s art project for school. He is in second grade.

my dawg has a plan

Happy Australia Day!!

storks

Gnarly.

Me at the trials.

Wife put their baby's face on a t shirt and scared the hell out of dad during the rinse cycle!

I know someone is awake to appreciate this.

I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

2020 everyone.

Day 19 of 366 of my promise to draw a grumpy animal every day and this hit me in the feels

Uno Por Favor

Too funny not to share

Letter from my sweatheart

This .

Swimming pool

It finally happened... I'll take anal bum cover for $200, Alex

Most accurate chart I’ve ever seen...

It was a different time, the 90's...

Watchong Nature Documentaries

There is a fine line between Commissioner Gordon and Walter White

Baby snowda

Why to make sure no one in IT learns who is on the lay-off list in advance.

31 weeks and feeling great!

Panic at the PRoC

☆Me: ☆errectile☆dysfunction☆-Like a Boss♡

I don't have a problem

Coronavirus time

Missed

Woke up to this in the kitchen