My mom texted me this at midnight... ?

wuuuuhu!

War crimes intensifies

you ready to have a heavenly time?

Better than being married to the wrong person

Booty

it is now canon.

Of course I can paint you on a horse! I've totally seen one before

Honesty is an optimal example of integrity

Bought a new car. It came with a puppy holder!

Our Shih Tzu eating a treat looks like WW2 Winston Churchill.

Wiener of Shame!

Found in a bar

Found this gem in the restroom of a bar

Damn, a lot of these would make great porn titles...

Your package of "A UPS Truck" has shipped.

Gods' plan for mankind

Best name description ever

When my friends ask how is my new diet going.

Dorime

I heard the camera adds 10 pounds

sometimes you have to miss something to realize how important it is to you

Hold my broom...

Finns seen stuff

level 100 mafia boss.

a dog's nemesis

Dead or alive

jkl;dsa;l

god dAM-

Saturation

he knew what he was doing, gotta have your PRIOITIES right

Dammit, Carlos.

Power Rangers gone wild.

A religious man dropped this off in my laundromat... I figure I'd answer the question for everyone

palindromes

to be happy

Just to be safe

When my unborn child eventually asks if I want to play a game, I'm unsure what I'll say.

The engineer

It is my job.

Yes

*intense gay sex

1910: bikes that ran on railroad tracks, Pellston, Michigan

My phones not gonna drop and hit me on my face anymore

A rare glimpse of a mother truck and her trucklings in the wild

How to choose a doctor

okk

Meanwhile in Argentina...

Oh Mr Chef!

Roasting a giant marshmallow

EXTRA

vaapoourer

Cursed

Don’t do it

I couldn’t help myself...

i want to be the little spoon, and for someone to gently kiss my neck

In case you were wondering, I'm against dicktators.

Tf does she mean

There is no stronger passion in this world than Hollywood's passion for making kid's movies about cartoon characters going on road trips with middle aged white men.

Verryy interesting.....

Relatablorama

Aw yeah

A little bit of accurate future-predicting from an old Nintendo video game.

Unlimited powers

Someone threw a blanket over the statue.

Good one Dad

Goodbye little Jimmy

Take a solemn moment to reflect on this harrowing news story from 6 years ago.

Very nice yes

This shelter dog looks like Frank Gallagher

Thank good they didn't drop the L instead

This dog ate a weed gummy and had to go to the emergency room on Valentine’s Day.

This WWII AT-AT

Green Electric Chair

Duct tape painted car

and it's OKAY

***er of mother

Found one in the wild

woah dude

When Monday is a Holiday.

Why would you commit such a crime

¿ʇxǝʇ ǝʇɐʇoɹ I op ʍoH

Gotta go fast

real for a moment

Memm

40 days ago I made a promise to myself to do something productive and draw a grumpy animal every single day. this is grumpy animal number 40

I’m doing ok! Wait a minute....

Tiawanese media made a subtle joke on TV news

N o o o

where did it bring you, back to...

The Celiacs approved TV mount I received from Amazon

Taxation is theft

Found

This Yoda toy kinda looks like Bill Cosby

Crazy Cat Lady Saturday Night

Pacific Kim

He hasn’t figured out how reverse works yet

QED

This be Indiana no question.

T i r e d