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no shame
Stepped on a scale today after conscientious diet and exercise during stay-at-home orders, and this is what I get.
If you know what this is you spent some time at the quarter machines at the local grocery store. I haven't seen one of these for like a decade
That cold!
Let’s make it official...
Sometimes my genius is almost frightening
To avoid masked identity confusion my friend Kai made a helpful shirt.
Minneapolis police arrest CNN reporter who clearly presents his press badge.
i suck at making titles
I was trying to get a pic of my wife and son when my nephew caught the Holy Spirit.
Work smarter not harder
And they're like someone made The Beatles in Oblivion
Lazy made, lazy commentary
Had to have the vet shave my cat to treat a skin issue, and he looked so fake no one believed these photos were real.
Look At This Happy Boi!
Garbage Man
I like burgers
Same boy. Same barber. Same chair. Same camera budget.
why do jokes like this make me laugh so much
Jim Carrey said he agreed to star in 'Liar Liar' because he got to play a normal person.
Shhh, the hills are silent for a reason
Just doing his part
It’s the little things...
Detroit ...
I'm so thirsty I could drink a chicken
Pizza Hut's Name Example is Fitting
yugioh
Damn right it’s better than yours
Imma be honest, I'd look at Harrsion Ford the same way
No exceptions!
Double tap to boop the snoot
No Parrying
shower thoughts 101
Just an optical illusion in Paris.
nice one Germany
Knitting is caring.
I did a thing
Perfect and just what I wanted!
I can't BEElive this
Death Defying
Is the white dude on the right looting LEGOs?
decision
Stayin Slinky
No corona
yoooooo he look
:-(
Those crazy sons of a *** did it
Rock Lobster
6Ft Away!
"Don't worry my dog doesn't bite"
he's been hiding what he did for two hours
The weak will be culled.
Shhh not so loud!
Meanwhile, at your mom's house...
My grandma came to the house in these.. :(
asdf
Sorry for bad layout
And then he said: “Come in, he doesn’t bite”. And I bit him !!!
My dad got bored shopping with my mom and sent me this
Not illegal yet
The future is now old man
Horse sitting down
1 Like = 1 Prayer
S U C C
Modern problems, modern solutions : no leggy no problem
focus
These are the words of the gospel
Sent this to the cat sitter. Trying to avoid a lawsuit.
That failed successfully...
Gotta love Al
Villain or Hero?
I asked them to write me a joke on my box. Was not let down.
when that fat f*ck finally dies
Found in a nearby Car
You too, Chad!
... and he has a cool dog.
He was just trying to take a nap
I may have found a way to encourage people to wear masks…
Noticed this on the back of my face wash today. If only more companies would take the same initiative.
That's the secret
Security obviously a top priority for this Fraternity
title
Hey, it's mother russia.
title
She wanted a Spice rack so here it is
A solution looking for a problem
I’m sure I’m reposting, but this made me LOL. Gotta respect the hustle
Having an argument
My favorite bird
Serena Williams wearing a Puma sweatband in the new Nike ad
Doga
Fertility dance
You get what you pay for
Trying to explain to the 70 year old Swiss man who offered to take our pic that his finger was covering the lens
Launch Delay
Is this thing gas or diesel
I need unsee juice now
Sad Elon
When the restrictions lift but the 'Rona is still out there
Japanese tea