My mom chopped open a bell pepper today

Act of Love

''Be a dentist', they said. 'It's a steady job', they said.

The inside of a cheese grater, or the backdrop for a 2000s rap video?

Rules just ruin the fun

I didn't know that.

Sometimes you got to be direct

me, thinking about slov

The way my dogs fur wraps around her neck looks like she's wearing her very own fur coat

Hey thanks buddy

no victim no crime amirite brehs

Someone really doesn't want this cat to get out

“CAn I sPeAk tO tHe mAnaGer oF tHis gAlaXy”

That's a big Ben

I appreciated this bathroom sign

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Stare at your reflection

tape the camera and the mic brehs

Some bleach please

Idiocracy gets better each time I watch it. A very underrated movie. Watch it if you haven’t.

It ain't easy being cheesy

no YOU were brehs with Epstein!

Title

This sad ball is funny

Joseph..

Hold it spiderman

My brother in law says it looks like a rat licked a battery

sipderman

Me and the boys looking for a game.

We'll never know...

It works every f**ing time

I'll admit it was a tight parking space but I squeezed into it. Never thought i’d have this left on my windshield for my accomplishment though.

After Life

:3‏‏‎ ‎

No homo tho

Ara ara in the distance

What the devil is going on here?

Excel: Invite e-girl to eat fig

Time to expand the Empire

d(ch)ad

brehmocrats and brehpublicans

The Bill Gates frame-of-reference

Fuᴄking racists

still brehferable to be yourself brehs

Thank you she's beautiful

Cry, Jon.

This car drove passed us. Deadass thought its just the skin. Its cars. Tiny cars. Fricking tiny cars.

Sad

I think we have a lead on this....

I bring news

when will this curse known as big pp end?

its canon harry potter

A lot to comprehend

bwombs uwu

too soon?

Shit posting on Next Door

Just your average recipe book

That kind of a year

Best prank ever. Found these keys outside my work. Called the number on them. Apparently, dozens of sets of these keys were spread all over our town and the guy had been getting calls all day.

Follow safety steps if you wanna live

Should you eat that bacon? Found at a bakery in Charlottesville

This guy was following me asking what year it is, what a weirdo..

Owl gets arrested

My fortune cookie paper

Okay, ouch, I didn't ask for this degree of truth today, but also yes

It wasn’t legal before?

I've always focused on his shirt, but the Google search is a gem. "How to get my mum" And the suggestions are: 1. to love me, 3. to stop drinking, and the second one I can't read. Golden.

The Social Mob

As a dog owner I can approve this

Work Ethic

Probably a repost. I am sure everone has seen this already, but it made me laugh.

Well at least he's both his wife's husband and boyfriend

This is knot funny!

The experiment.

Just really feelin Wheel of Fortune tonight

In my store

Bruh.

One Adam Six Nine, requesting backup. This one's too big to handle on my own.

I drew this grumpy vulture

This tortoise is Cold Blooded

It's getting faster

Stay safe friends.

I hate technology

an afternoon at the museum

Summer 2020 - expectations and reality

Slide.

A Story About Tolls...

Royal Rumble.

meth.

Ron Swanson’s mustache looks good on me

my new vacuum cleaner looks like a teutonic armor for cats

A friend of mine sent me this.

At the bank.

It's funny because it's true

They recommended you have three glasses of wine and it assembles itself. Working on the first glass now

This chef looked eerily familiar to me...

Time To Shut Down

Sushi jousting

This is not a crack house but a crack home

Sooooo worth it!