Age 31: I do crack up my butt, my mouth doesn’t work anymore!

It's a sad existence

My last one. Go ask your dad.

You little ***

Sips tea*

“You shouldn’t be here” “Neither should you”

Foot Doctor humor

Literally every time I’d play the coin pusher arcade games as a kid

No side effects

Got a new kitten. It’s been a bit of an adjustment.

If 2020 was a beer

Mutant Yelling

Please train the bears

The real adult version of the ice cream man.

On your six

I just wanted to share this historic moment that a took about a month ago

“Yes I approve”

Listen here you little

Sweep it babe...

How you doin? ;)

Bird:Time to wash your car

Some people just aren't creative in any way.

0/10 would not recommend

You can't tell me how to physics

My wife religiously writes down dinner for the week. Guess this week just hit the fan.

That’s me on the right

A story in six pictures

Relax, you will graduate.

Rape

I’ve always wondered

You are

Sniper Inbound!

My kitten when he sees me naked

title

I don't know what this does but I think it might just end the world...

I guess my son thinks I need to lose weight

What have you done human?

A new tesla product

Really selling the free curbside kitchenware

Mood

This time of year

Something to feel good about

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Mr Ice Cream man

My daughter, doing her own makeup, went full Mimi.

Its true!

Noice mousepad

The guy on the right.

i- umm.. welp hes not wrong

They did

my dentist spit on me and i couldn't even spit back because he sucked up all my mouth juice

Henry Porter

I thought they were holding an ice cream cone!

Took kids parasailing and they played dead.

My dog is a foreigner. He doesn't understand my culture.

He looks professional yes sir

Everyone Else’s Summer vs my Summer

I found this card at a store around the corner from me and just had to take a photo

“‘Cause baby now we got bag gloves.” or whatever Taylor Swift said.

The men you please

What did I just create

I've lost count

Four

My friend just got a portrait done of his dog

And then the rainbow decided to change its style...

Who uses a sock instead of a jar smh

nvm

Americans would want this

Sorry fam

Found this in the make-up section of a local Target.

There is nothing more sad than the existence of the simp.

From now on I’m going to use my toddler as my strong password generator.

My life goal is to turn the whole map green

"I don't know I just got here"

My husband made lunch for me today

Timmmm.... BER!

Cantaloupe: I just want to fit in.

Brother just texted me this. Certainly is branded accurately.

Saw this amazing “Ad” walking in my neighborhood today

Soviet Russia...

My custom crazy straw came in the mail today!

Welcome to the 21st Century

Always listen to granny.

Our 4 year old set this up while I was in the bathroom and then proudly announced that I was trapped.

The ever fluctuating price of a 14” pizza

Found before a hike

The state flag of Florida

It worksky

Went to Aldi today. I did it guys, I finally did it. This is my all time proudest moment

On second thought...let's not park here. Tis a silly place...

The teacher texted me and told me to wake her up

As a mailman, I usually don’t know what’s in the package. But I’m pretty sure this is a tennis racket.

It’s a Redshirt world out there. Stay safe.

My sister's mask

We must never forget...

Found this gem on Amazon.

Lizard

*sweeps all four*

she never loved me

I did like an hour ago