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Oh cool! I've always wanted one!
Sell terror some place else, we're all stocked up here.
Kama sutra skirt.
My grandmother bought a whole extra bed just for her cat.
Is my dad Borat??
treat him like a king
Just to point out, now is the perfect time to become a ventriloquist.
The only way to hang it
Caught at a stop light.
God let me sleep
Knees kinda weak, arms not so light
Do I need to say anything?
Oh no my ice cream fell
Today's been a rough day
Title of your post
Dead Plant
Masterful Twists, marvelous bamboozlings, the most ambitious show today!
Posted on Fresno buy/trade on FB. Guy knows how to market
So I did a face swap with Drake and Steve Harvey...
No one will notice if I just read a book...
So this is where it began
The cat she told you not to worry about.
Somebody had to do it
Birds.... Right
Yes this did actually happen to me
you can’t recognize someone by their sho-
"I have a tie for every holiday." - "Oh? How many ties do you have?" - "I just told you. I have A tie."
Robert Paddington
Finally, some rest
hire
The smile is what got me
Doggy never brought it back.
M'lady
My daughter got an etch a sketch today for her 8th birthday. She drew a cat puking.
Wet Ass pavement
Dad achievement unlocked.
Is my dad George Costanza?
Moving Company
Put it back and take a doll instead
Leave me be
The progression of my daughter realizing it wasn’t just a toot.
Relative every time
The math is correct too
I still do this at 25 also I live alone
The Nokia 3310 turns 20 today!
...god why
Throw hi in the fire instead
Science b*ch
please stop
No regrets
They recognize Doge, but it sounds insane
When the weather forecast is very accurate
He started it all... Also he is from Ohio
Found today in Stirling, Scotland. :)
must have been
Snail Eyes
Will the political posters please shut up and fuᴄk already
I have right!
Strange things happening in the hood
Shoot me!
I will not ..
Ulterior Motives
Nice...
He needs some milk
Meanwhile, women still searching for a pocket in their clothes.
Horny MotherDucker
How to trigger the f*ck out of MacTrumpo
Met this shady guy behind the circle k.
Money is not everything!
Humans deserve it
Lawful Pun
I hate love you
That'd be wonderful
Everybody's gangsta till I bring out my tool of mass destruction.
House Painters
That's some real gangsta shit
“The screamer” bumper protector
The perfect advertisement doesn’t exi-
bats upside down look like a goth nightclub
Fresh Junk
Do not put raccoon on head
A friend of ours sent my wife and I the only photo they found from their wedding that my wife was in.
not all guitar heroes have capos
You are tank now
Doggy no
Sometimes Twitter is very insightful
Squirrel Cheeks
Smooth jazz
Consider it an NDA
He’s always watching...
I'm pretty sure he made everyone's day today that stopped at that light.
Livin' the high ping life
This man in Kentucky took his pregnant wife’s place when she couldn’t attend her maternity photo shoot after being suddenly placed on bed rest. He took the opportunity to cheer her up with this.
But you're just a fish
Its the best feeling
Went to get a car wash, some great advertising
What a truly terrifying creature this would be.
These panhandlers are getting creative.
"the bomb has been planted"
Blue light special