...and a diet coke please, i don't want to get fat

At a classic car dealership in Sarasota, FL

The new fire alarm system has an exciting feature...

Very smart!

We speak you're language.

don’t let it set in

Damn it Mittens

me on most days

Stop

Ś̷̨͡A͡҉̨̛͢V́͟E͘͜͡͝ ̢̀̕͠M̶̸̴̶̶E͏̡҉҉̕

Musk is gonna snap and go full super villain

YES, Right!

download vs download

Acid Drive

Wish I had bread.

And that;s how I met your mother

Day 18: ＨＩＤＤＥＮ　ＤＥＳＩＲＥ

John is a genius

Thanks Zakiel

♫ pringles all the way ♫

True Knowledge

There’s only room for one star on this tree

My 5 year old fast asleep. Second night he has slept in this costume.

Everyone's on to the Simpson's telling the Future so Futurama is covering there ass

Ajit Paid

Sending him out to the workforce because childcare is too expensive

The way I see the current Bitcoin market ...

Great white

Ah Jimmy Fallon!

precisely

I Used Adblock When I Went To BuzzFeed And There Was Nothing Left

When everyone in the house is sleeping and you can finally jerk off

Snow days aren't always awesome

boi they done did it again

Relatable...

ted     

I knew Jesus was a Jew but Santa was a Surprise.

Relatable

Another great actor who wasted his life on drugs and alcohol

Moon Pie’s Twitter is 10/10

My coworker looks like he is spewing Christmas joy all over the girl in front of him.

In case if you think your job is the worst :)

You have my money, now leave me alone!

my dog realizing i'm petting her with a tiny hand

MoonPie for the win!

A sign on a door in Amsterdam

just waiting for mom to take holiday photos...

Speed can be an odd thing

Something about my dog is off today...

Did they at least get some dinner first?

I hope they took that right turn

Haha loneliness right

WHY

Too bad, only people with the porn package will be able to watch this.

Chop?

Relatable

My sister-in-law "dressed up" her pressure cooker and cutting board.

Important information

ＣＯＮＳＵＭＥ　ＴＲＯＵＳＥＲＳ

Its the same thing!!

protec your bred with snec

the world is full of mysteries

Too fast...

Star Sun Conspiracy

put and end to the tyrant Ajit Pai!

When your internet is slow

Finally i found him

My mom asked my little cousin to cut out snowflakes.

i only eat t h i c c food

This is how my cat welcomes guests.

My Mom's office had a decorating contest for their cubicles. My mom is on the left, but I think her neighbor deserved the win

Prevent Carpal Tunnel

Wellllllll shit

hol up

penis

This home is about $200,000 over budget, but it has a cool microwave so we'll take it!

Meming is some serious business

Japan definitely doesn’t sugarcoat it’s clothing sizes

indeed

Proud father

Sign outside a bar near me

Saw this in my friends fridge, think it’s time to stop being friends.

Inflation? What's that?

BBC trying to avoid product placement with a stack of apples..

I mean what else?

WWII (colorized)

I made a thing instead of buying a thing

Blood Test

A long time ago, in a desert far, far away...

also the sand is coarse, rough, irritating, gets everywhere

Can't really be mad at the guy tho...

Well, that's just a ridiculous request

Cat jumps insanely high.

It's not medicine, it's Pepsi

In dark times, heroes arise!

Arby's is trying to seduce me

My students tell me that I look like the Chicken Man from Toy Story 2... I don't see the resemblance.

Formal vs. Informal

Stupid little *** ***s an entire country for money

I found the cause of the Atlanta Airport blackout