The instructions on this shirt I bought today

When you press "Disable Flash"

You can't beat both

Not even on Halloween

Forty is the new forty

Nutella from hell

Necromancer School 101

Oof

So, I look like an overweight man with a Burt Reynolds sized mustache?

Opt

Hopefully Cyanide

Brutal Cop

Poor Jr

wait a minute

I vote for the spooky leader

Whoever she's texting, that dude is in trouble.

I'll be there for you

Reborn

Newborn Sumatran rhinos look like old stuffed animals

fair enough

Man I wonder

Im gonna be a jedi master!

And a Legend is born.

Ya filthy animal!

So proud of myself

Not cool my guy

Lets put a smile on that face!

Switzerland during WW2

Really they dont

What home is

I don’t answer phone calls anymore.. ever! Unless of course it’s the pizza delivery guy.

Magic mixed with physics.

Ultimate f*ck up

Marriage Struggles

Friend broke his leg in a dirt bike accident this weekend. Pharmacist has no chill.

Stolen meme but this is me and my datemate to a tee and I wanted to share :P

Also he blacc

Swine!!!

Hue

now thats a good adaptation

We went to Home Depot today, I asked my wife if she wanted to duck down this isle for a Quickie. She rolled her eyes and kept walking.

*drools*

R.I.P

;-;

Well that kinda failed

Nyanpasu ~

Like cmon

Monday again.....

heh

Well....

Camo level 100

My wishes!!!

Buyer wrote: “I got this tank top from Amazon. But they sent me a dress. On the plus side though, it does make my ass look great.”

No sh!t!

Never going to give you up

Cursed breakfast

Clattering Onion

Like this if you like cats :3

Mr. Clean

How to cleanup feed? Anyone?

Quote of the year kiddo

Where did you get this?

Thinking frog

Once I saw it, I could not unsee the vagineck.

Well, babies *are* scary

Thanks Ben!

My last cross stitch project.

Relatable Bart

Buddy...

Every plane movie

And left lol

Got a picture with cam newton today

When your mom thinks she found your vape

Same last name...What a coincidence!

Goggly eyes make everything better

Oui oui

When my husband picks our teenage daughter up from a friend’s house.

Oof

Oh god damnit

Calm before the storm

Bet the bully had the high ground tho

Can’t handle it

Nice lamp you got there

It means a lot

Somehow, that does not come as a surprise to me

The ejacu-latte

My handicap uncle is ready for holloween

"I want my lawyer"

outplayed.

Juvenile red tailed hawk

I'm so punny

Do they grow back?

Correct pants you must buy.

Ride-on lawnmower

How is this so accurate

The NFL this season

Just get it done

Loving my new bath bomb

Can I buy a vowel?

Sweet Home, Alabama