Cut a lemon in half place it under the skin of the turkey to lighten up the holiday.

Can't beat that

So...refund?

My gf couldn’t understand why I was obsessed with this

I’m ***ing shook

A good summary of my day

When you're a romantic pianist but also a gamer

The eyes never lie

The Midterm Elections Right Now

Double bnana

After using Shampoo!!!!!

Why is this impressive?

I died of laughter

Found this masterpiece taped to my hotel door

MS Word

“Goddamit mom”

I know what it’s like to lose

Lol. Oldie but goodie

And here you find the dogg fish in its natural habitat.

Gillian Anderson. Gillian Withouterson

If only we all had this power..

Super cool trick!

they still think im a tree

“Tomorrow, I will eat healthy” - me, every day.

Nana on No Nut November

Wizard of the internet, King of the data centers, Slayer of cables!

damn you autocorrect

That’s a bold strategy Cotton. Let’s see how this one plays out.

i like this meme

Indeed

Please, Press F

Chess on hard mode

Excuse me Karen

All of my kids could've done this...

And a 200% chance of "sir could you step out of the vehicle and put your hands behind your back"

This little girl is my spirit animal

What's he doing up there?

Fight for what you believe in

No thanks, McDonalds. I think I'm good.

Bed and breakfast

So the wife wanted a deck for her sun chair.

He’s not 12 tho

When I asked for extra cheese, this isn't what I meant Dunkin.

Daughter’s 2nd grade class wrote letters to vets. This was mine, things got real.

Gummo (prison version)

Rabbits, then vs now

True as true can be

Heeeere's Johnny!

Todd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is some kind of magic

Tony Romo

when you shittily embroider a borderline-dead meme for your husband and he doesn’t immediately want to have sex with you

Pretty much my life lately

The accuracy is uncanny.

X-mas Tip

I think we could all agree on this one

Knitting

What its like being the first child

Anon in health class

Isn't this true

That shit is future-me's problem

She really loves the cat. The cat sometimes has doubts...

Whose church is it?

Got dabbed on by a squirrel in the park

My wife didn’t know that my daughter had a mouth full of milk when she told her to smile for a picture...

Was walking on the street the other day and suddenly saw this

While in Washington State recently, I found this sign outside a weed dispensary.

Smashed my finger with a hammer, wife brought me this ice pack...

Proper wholesome vanilla porn

My son dressed up like this for a parade. No-one knew who he was, except the dog.

I'm invisible.

Hail Pete

This is so sad

evolve

With fava beans

Brushed my dog & made a new one......!!!

Can’t get no sleep...

Can we have 2 Halloweens this year??

Hypothalamus

Walgreens mislabeled this entire inventory of sewing supplies.

Wait a second, something’s not right

Flat earth logic

I watched Airplane! on my way back from LA. Qantas had a content warning...

Yup, I laughed at this.

road to flavor town

"Actually, the Earth is a Cuboid and we're living inside it"

Rock on doggo

I'm not saying...

humans still think im lost

Cracked me up

No matter who u are do as the wife says

AYYYYYY LMAO

F = ma

Oh.. wait

A bitter pill to swallow

Santa's not coming this year.

Stupid attorney!

The name’s Goofy

I dont even know what happened in this pic

:-O