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“Tomorrow, I will eat healthy” - me, every day.
Nana on No Nut November
Wizard of the internet, King of the data centers, Slayer of cables!
damn you autocorrect
That’s a bold strategy Cotton. Let’s see how this one plays out.
i like this meme
Indeed
Please, Press F
Chess on hard mode
Excuse me Karen
All of my kids could've done this...
And a 200% chance of "sir could you step out of the vehicle and put your hands behind your back"
This little girl is my spirit animal
What's he doing up there?
Fight for what you believe in
No thanks, McDonalds. I think I'm good.
Bed and breakfast
So the wife wanted a deck for her sun chair.
He’s not 12 tho
When I asked for extra cheese, this isn't what I meant Dunkin.
Daughter’s 2nd grade class wrote letters to vets. This was mine, things got real.
Gummo (prison version)
Rabbits, then vs now
True as true can be
Heeeere's Johnny!
Todd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is some kind of magic
Tony Romo
when you shittily embroider a borderline-dead meme for your husband and he doesn’t immediately want to have sex with you
Pretty much my life lately
The accuracy is uncanny.
X-mas Tip
I think we could all agree on this one
Knitting
What its like being the first child
Anon in health class
Isn't this true
That shit is future-me's problem
She really loves the cat. The cat sometimes has doubts...
Whose church is it?
Got dabbed on by a squirrel in the park
My wife didn’t know that my daughter had a mouth full of milk when she told her to smile for a picture...
Was walking on the street the other day and suddenly saw this
While in Washington State recently, I found this sign outside a weed dispensary.
Smashed my finger with a hammer, wife brought me this ice pack...
Proper wholesome vanilla porn
My son dressed up like this for a parade. No-one knew who he was, except the dog.
I'm invisible.
Hail Pete
This is so sad
evolve
With fava beans
Brushed my dog & made a new one......!!!
Can’t get no sleep...
Can we have 2 Halloweens this year??
Hypothalamus
Walgreens mislabeled this entire inventory of sewing supplies.
Wait a second, something’s not right
Flat earth logic
I watched Airplane! on my way back from LA. Qantas had a content warning...
Yup, I laughed at this.
road to flavor town
"Actually, the Earth is a Cuboid and we're living inside it"
Rock on doggo
I'm not saying...
humans still think im lost
Cracked me up
No matter who u are do as the wife says
AYYYYYY LMAO
F = ma
Oh.. wait
A bitter pill to swallow
Santa's not coming this year.
Stupid attorney!
The name’s Goofy
I dont even know what happened in this pic
:-O
People were ugly back then
Talented actor, Rainn Wilson, over the years.
Thanks for the words.
Weird flex
This cat showing me how small my dick is.
A weird intro, but ok.
You really gonna scroll past without without saying happy birthday?
Not the kind of support I need right now
what if you just want to leave
That kinda got dark!
Cool....................,,
Found this lil ghost earlier today in my mug.
shock
Googled "Marine Animals", Was not disappointed.
How many days in a row can I use dry shampoo? Asking for a friend...
If there’s a war in 2030
Cats never forget
When you get rescued from the dog shelter, but you realize your owner is a weirdo
No worries?
Small kestrel tries stealing from hawk
When Lightning McQueen gets stung by a bee
A good future will blossom for you
Freelancing in a nutshell: