when you shittily embroider a borderline-dead meme for your husband and he doesn’t immediately want to have sex with you

Pretty much my life lately

The accuracy is uncanny.

X-mas Tip

I think we could all agree on this one

Knitting

What its like being the first child

Anon in health class

Isn't this true

That shit is future-me's problem

She really loves the cat. The cat sometimes has doubts...

Whose church is it?

Got dabbed on by a squirrel in the park

My wife didn’t know that my daughter had a mouth full of milk when she told her to smile for a picture...

Was walking on the street the other day and suddenly saw this

While in Washington State recently, I found this sign outside a weed dispensary.

Smashed my finger with a hammer, wife brought me this ice pack...

Proper wholesome vanilla porn

My son dressed up like this for a parade. No-one knew who he was, except the dog.

I'm invisible.

Hail Pete

This is so sad

evolve

With fava beans

Brushed my dog & made a new one......!!!

Can’t get no sleep...

Can we have 2 Halloweens this year??

Hypothalamus

Walgreens mislabeled this entire inventory of sewing supplies.

Wait a second, something’s not right

Flat earth logic

I watched Airplane! on my way back from LA. Qantas had a content warning...

Yup, I laughed at this.

road to flavor town

"Actually, the Earth is a Cuboid and we're living inside it"

Rock on doggo

I'm not saying...

humans still think im lost

Cracked me up

No matter who u are do as the wife says

AYYYYYY LMAO

F = ma

Oh.. wait

A bitter pill to swallow

Santa's not coming this year.

Stupid attorney!

The name’s Goofy

I dont even know what happened in this pic

:-O

People were ugly back then

Talented actor, Rainn Wilson, over the years.

Thanks for the words.

Weird flex

This cat showing me how small my dick is.

A weird intro, but ok.

You really gonna scroll past without without saying happy birthday?

Not the kind of support I need right now

what if you just want to leave

That kinda got dark!

Cool....................,,

Found this lil ghost earlier today in my mug.

shock

Googled "Marine Animals", Was not disappointed.

How many days in a row can I use dry shampoo? Asking for a friend...

If there’s a war in 2030

Cats never forget

When you get rescued from the dog shelter, but you realize your owner is a weirdo

No worries?

Small kestrel tries stealing from hawk

When Lightning McQueen gets stung by a bee

A good future will blossom for you

Freelancing in a nutshell:

I’m okay, trust me

Lost cat had the time of his life.

Not like planned

Cheese it, the fuzz!

Why is this so good?

Great taste? It's in there!

I feel like I just interrupted a meeting for little demons

What ever happened to.....

Posted on a nursery door at church warning parents not to bring their sick kids into class

DDR ram

Doctors

Survival of the not so fittest...

Kiwi Has a Twin!

Best scene in the whole movie ; change my mind

He got mad i made him wear a seat belt.

Why Johnny?

A reminder for certain individuals.

Praying for an accident

Things were better then

Not a morning person, i guess

Natural Selection is a cruel mistress

You're not my real ladder!

Evertime

The classic video game systems

IQ 300

Walls Don’t Work?

Snap into a Slim Jim

Every girl ever