Nervous Hippopotamus

Never do it for free

I realize this probably isn't the most original idea for a wallpaper ever, but I made myself giggle today.

Cool Running Legs

Wife ordered a BLT with cheese.

Told my mom I was surprised our son, who was born on Sunday, didn't look anything like me. She sent me this pic. Congrats Simon Pegg!

KFC chicken leg

Tide Pod Rod

Buying cars nowadays

Please help Larry he needs to provide for his family!!!!!

The Super Bowl halftime show we all wanted

A childhood favorite

Raaaaaadioactiive

Onward trusty steed!!

Making money 101

I guess being a statue isn't the only reason that girl is never going to move from that spot.

Drug dealing today

When the cop is a savage

Is there a jay-kwellin here?

Eating alone

I love crossovers

My Neighbor is getting a little upset with our homeless trash guest. I couldn’t resist.

I have famously huge turds.

God I love saying the N-WORD

But first, tacos.

You either die a hero....

Queens guard getting a haircut

I mean he’s not wrong

Nothing like a wine part without cheese

Join Starfleet they said. Imagine the worlds you'll see, the adventures you'll have, they said.

She was too good for him anyway.

Manboobs best boobs

So who's gonna tell them?

why would you do that?

Going into Thursday Like...

02.07.19

I thought it was impawsible

Seriously Greg...

Mother cares not for us

Left handed boi myself, but gotta respect the hustle fellow humans.

Unraveling a Tale as Old as Time

Dream big, friends

loser

We got a note on our door saying leave our fire extinguisher out so they can be re tagged and the apartment on the right put their smoke alarm out.

lightning mcqueen and mater ☺️

I do like a little spark in the Lou...

Zombie apocalypse mattress

Trying to save an ailing drooping cactus, I've splinted it and it now resembles the oldest pole dancer in history.

My social life right now

A message for instastrippers. We know.

I confirm this

Keanu Reeves is a Saint

Some handy tips

Interesting times we live in

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

A rare chance

Congratulations to Mama Fratelli for coaching the New England Patriots to their 6th Superbowl Championship.

This 19 year old poster at my local library

Hey Capt, really?

Stop trying to hurt me Facebook!

be woke

This Irish feast

Doggo forgot how to dog

These people who parked on the ice before it melted

When your entire country posses power to say N word

What’s the best boat name you’ve seen?

So close, Doris. So close.

Dont knock it til you try it

Growing up in a small town is weird

Why computer... WHYYYY

His reply : And you look like a cocaine user

I don't think so...

Proud Mom

Without a doubt the worst boomers I've ever heard of

the wonderful squirrel fable

Prepare my KATANA .

End up doing that every damn time

Upset Stomach Intensifies

Love this dude

Go hard or go home!!!

This sign in front of our Engineering lab. Sounds about right.

Day 183 : They still clean me everyday without noticing..

I finally hit my goal weight!

All-Time Classics

3543544543 IQ

Perfect Answer!!!

ancient-summon

That's all you needed to say

Musical Chairs

Something looks wrong

He vs. She

It's dangerous to go alone.

Sneak 10000

Should I keep the stray cat I found

Best feature (besides having a cat daughter wife)

It doesn't get more real than that

fukc the Imperials

Live in the moment!

It was just a sniffle

Feel better yet?