I recently became a dad and put my "uniform" on while still at the hospital. I've been planning this for a while.

Maybe we have more common ground than we thought

Ass hair?

world of tomorrow

My mom and I found a lot of these in my grandpa's house after he passed away, I've carried this one in my wallet for about 6 years now.

Acting drunk

Brainstorm

Star Wars to the rescue :D LOL

Professor McConaughey

Grandpa on his freaky shit

Trying to Smash

Relatable

Technology has made us no safer!

Have you ever seen an owls legs?

Blue moon

Doesn’t get more authentic than this

Dating goals!

Less than a week left

I Was Already Annoyed, But Now Im Just Offended...

Give me minions!

One of the photos Ryan Reynolds posted, wishing his wife a happy birthday.

Just letting you know that I'm coming over

I can still hear the dial up tones

Someone messed up real bad

TASER THIS PIG

Dumb ***

Eomer

*laughs in spaghetti*

thats sort of gay

Bots are savage

She needed those Disney bucks

A new way to sneak food into the movie theatre ...

Heav'n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn'd

Nice teeth though

Regret is temporary

Hey Dad, you know Pam?

I am a freelance technician, and I just happen to be working in the underground tunnels of Disney. Today I found this.

Is it just me or does young DJ Khalid look like the love child of Drake and Adam Sandler?

Loud eating

Snort the coffee powder

AAAARRRGGH.......

no opium this time

I'm sold

Working in a pet hotel

Yea no thanks

Mugged

Killing Time

Lol, Butt Napkins

Why Rose, why??

Sometimes the stars align

Chick-fil-A vs Popeyes

Found about 20 of these cards while cleaning out my grandfathers man cave after he passed away. Going to miss his sense of humour.

Satan himself

I just had to share it, also the girl's gonna die.

Woke meme

She don't she stupid!

Mad scientists

cursed mom

That's one smart Anon

Blue Planet

OP: MrOddJazz

But just how long is it?

Fokking Karen

Wholesome

Reading this is a punishment

I wasn't even that horny

She's a keeper that's for sure

Can't keep up sometimes :D LOL

Loopholes are great

Sorry about your balls

anon is trans

The best surveillance system out there!

Thots

Nice teamwork

Big F

Because Hemsworth it.

Smort

Why I dont let my husband handle any of our daughters paperwork for school ha

Relatable

The Future Will Never Be The Same

ahh

Tired of these cicadas keeping me up at night, time for some revenge

Ain’t that the life

Lol wut

In the bathroom at my tattoo artist's studio.

Wish never gets my orders right :D LOL

bob the builder

Uncle Rico Suave

My boss after I've spent a week pouring all my time and energy into something they no longer want

Who want to ***

Whoopsi Goldberg

I found this in my school archive from 1940

Oogie Boogie hasn't been getting the best gigs lately.

I think my husband’s going to realize I borrowed one of his extension cords

My sister wore the wrong shirt to picture day

the british empire

Forreal! No one gives shi* LOL :D

My mom sent me this today... I’ve been in glasses since I can remember

Think again.

Rage Kitty