LaDY GetS BrUtaLlY OwNeD

My son sent me this "date isnt talking much, it's getting awkward"

Developer vs Tester.

OH YEAH

My divided cereal idea was only my 2nd best culinary creation... introducing the Startle!

I made a promise to draw a grumpy animal every single day for a year and it scares me how easy it was for this to become the highlight of my day. Day 20. only 346 days to go

Make Better Choices

What the hell happened there?

Still checking though

Mom bought a frying pan on Amazon. I wasn't disappointed.

Been in this grocery store several times and just noticed the sign today.

My town thought it would be a good idea to put those rental bikes in. Until this happened

This is every day

My daughter used markers to put “makeup” on her dolls. I tried to wash them. Cinderella had an especially rough night.

Poor guy just wants to sing.

Was trying to take a cute, sexy pic for my boyfriend when suddenly I lost my balance.

John Woke

He sandwich.

"The universe must have wanted us to run into each other today!"

Advanced dad jokes.

Separated at birth.

If only I was a famous actor

Coronavirus

Haha yes

I hate when this happens. It disappoints me immeasurably and ruins my day

Just following the doctors orders

Me at Jab inderview - Haha yes

Why yes, Amazon, I would be very interested in knowing when he writes something new

Day 5 of state of emergency: 5 o'clock somewhere....tiki snow fort time! Just have to dig the firepit out...

This hits different

It do be like that

Probably because he wants more food even though I JUST fed him.

Now I know how to approach people with this kinda tattoo

when i want to upload a long video but i quickly need it to be <6 MB

Refund policy

Googled baby weight after putting on a few pounds recently. Was not disappointed.

guilty as charged

There is no such thing as too much RGB

Walking order

Knowledge is overrated

Dummkopf.

busty wisdom

No vacancy

gone, like tears in the rain

Chewsy

I dont mind the latter

Lobster Royale

*** and ball torture

More sad than funny really, but a one in a million shot

Cool guys don't look at the explosion.

Eh, its just a scratch

Everyone deserves a chance to be loved

Maybe that island isolated from the rest of the world that killed anyone who might transmit diseases and viruses had the right idea.

If you can't see the virus, the virus can't see you

Wait a second... What the hell did I just see?

We have Brexit over here I guess

Any REM fans out there?

Life's hard, kid.

FREE CVS scarves...

where are u Craigy poo

Watchusaytome?

Beginning of the week vs the end of the week dealing with the public

God of Diodes.

And all of a sudden it was Sunday morning...the drugs had worn off, and Larry wasn't a hottie smuggler in a spaceship flying across the universe with his Wookie anymore.

The logic used by cats while eating

survival of the fittest

Pimp vader

What about the mile high club

Bernie 2020 - Make America Poor Again

I'm sorry for this

I finally found good use for my meal prep containers

Die I must

How to find Kentucky on the map!

fu*king furries

try tasting it

and y'all do nothing but beetch about it smh

/ourvirus/

Those poor people

Glad my room is to the left. For some reason the right side of this hotel floor doesn't sound peaceful.

Can I get an Awww man.

This house has not been unlocked yet.

It was a trap

Cats quotes: I may not be loyal as a dog is but i never gonna tell them where you keep your Drugs . I ain't no snitch!

My cousin’s art project for school. He is in second grade.

my dawg has a plan

Happy Australia Day!!

storks

Gnarly.

Me at the trials.

Wife put their baby's face on a t shirt and scared the hell out of dad during the rinse cycle!

I know someone is awake to appreciate this.

I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

2020 everyone.

Day 19 of 366 of my promise to draw a grumpy animal every day and this hit me in the feels

Uno Por Favor

Too funny not to share

Letter from my sweatheart

This .

Swimming pool

It finally happened... I'll take anal bum cover for $200, Alex