Parents gave me a gift for college today, which was all the money that my mom found in my pockets when doing my laundry.....
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Ass hooker
Prepping for my colonoscopy tomorrow
My dog escaped. Showed up at the front door with unopened nachos.
Devils
Cant live with these regrets
Would be a real shame guys
My brother and I did one of those "recreation of a baby picture things"... It's not quite as cute as others I've seen.
That’s some solid advice right there.
Just a birds nest in a tree.
Dangerously Nice
Nothing personal, pal. It's just business.
My son turned 1
Oh! Now I understand why women go to the loo in pairs.
After years and years, someone finally found the square root that teachers were looking for.
Inconvenient therefore unreliable
This man's seen some shit
Xylophobia
Monday life lesson
Not that I'd want to do that either
Pretty much...!
Dear Diedre...
Never trust anyone
Hi Mark. I'm dad.
I'd like to buy one racism please
*Terminator music starts playing in the background*
Some genius put googly eyes on this Rachel Ray display in Walmart.
I miss Digimon
I live in what?
Student protesting against receiving low grades uses the wrong ‘you’re’
I'd Like To Thank My Parents
Same goes with my opinion on memes
My dad used to take some of the best pictures of me as a kid.
Anything You Want
Oof
Is that... a requirement?
Well well well how the turntables
Innovative panhandling at its finest
My brain in maths class
Found at my local bagel shop
Stepping it up
Do as the monks do and...
Yep that’s me- no I’m sure
Just found this picture of my grandma in a wonderful hat at my aunt’s wedding
Tested it
My friend’s house flooded. They had to heat the home up to help dry the water and...
That is actually pretty short
Him
Flying high
I forgot my tractor
If you live in Brentwood, Northern CA, please get your affairs in order
Test
Dodgeball where you had kings and queens was really fun
WTF is "Rampant Desire" supposed to smell like?
For anyone who’s still not sure exactly what irony is
I don't care
Cool off bro
pro gamer moment
Cat shocked it is pregnant
Scorching
If 2020 was toilet paper.
Problem solved
Accidental ***
Neighbors mailbox
Keep those no mask wearing fools out!
Husband not as thrilled with this decor project as I was
Yelling Mutants
When mom was broke and couldn’t afford the new spice girls album.
Stud
Thought Urban Dictionary's Word of the Day was pretty funny
Canadian units of measurement
I mean it's still affection
Perfection
Come on Jim, get in the loop
Oh Ariel...
That Crow on Mission...
Catman!
Game
Nike...
Easy mode
This guy looks like every single Spider-Man actor put together
Grown man lunchables
hits pretty close to home
Now this is brotherhood
Error 404: Year not found
How rude!
The world's most perfect graffiti.
Rome wasn't destroyed in a day
Triple H Car Wash
They work for the motherlands
I made a story about my workplace
Infinite light
Americans do too
Saw this in the wild today
Help!!
But it drives!
stronk
Day 6, they didn't noticed me yet
A little heads up would have been nice.
Mr. Peanut
Got this in a text from my sister followed by “sorry wrong person!”