How to utilise Venom's tongue

Hired this dude to put in my grass - He told me he’d be roasting a pig for the crew. I guess he wasn’t joking.

Yes I will be depressed if I have tons of money

Yummy mushroom

Return to wendigo

Valentines meat tray for one

Don't ask for context

Every morning at 11 or so, windowman shows up and scares the shit out of me.

Chicken jerk...

So, I asked my mom to grab some grape tomatoes. It’s a 20lb box. Guess I’ll be making tomato paste, tomato sauce and anything else that has a frigging tomato in it for the next forever... 20lbs!

This guy's special request at my work for his food. Couldn't stop laughing!!

Superheroes

Another thrift store painting I painted on top of. Monstrous Love.

Trying to order a taxi to pick me up and he asks where I am....

Filed under M for Murder.

“I think I left a window open last night, not sure.”

Mom said No.

WiFi with no Internet access

Weekend Mood

Guess they are having a Hard time with this

Made these cookies for the office Valentine's party.

I hate them aswell.

CORRECT

A young elephant tries to hide behind a lamppost after it was caught eating sugar cane in a Thai field

They look like they enjoy the job a little bit too much

Make it double alright

Scientists call this the "Spore Phase"

Too much fun

Rejoice! He has returned from the dead.

Not buying it

Saw this and had to share

OH NO

Hegan & Marry

This professor didn't know what he was getting himself in to.

René Catgritte

Heterochromia iridum is where someone has two different color eyes. I do not have that.

I’ve never seen better.

My gf’s cats looks like you owe him money.

My personalities coexisting

Birds can be so rude

My girlfriends valentines card to me.

Hi kids, do you like betas?

When DiCaprio visits the shelter, you’ve got to go all out.

My uncle joined Facebook for the first time and this is the first picture he uploaded

Pickle Too Slippery

Damn! It was so close!

Strange, but I can't get no relief...

Thanks for info

Money relative to age

Only one of them was able to survive Thanos

One of the most useful and proven methods to finish reading a book !!

Another Thriftstore painting I bought and painted on top of. How to Always Win at the Races

Wow the WiFi is good here.

The guy is the real hero

That famous yearbook!..

I don't even know what to write here, honestly...

Rat did his best, let's go Ox!

Literally just one bite or one sip and they're off

go ahead.... press it

Instructions needed

I have a buddy that 100% does this...

freshly stolen beans

translated, sorry bad english

That or the potato masher

Are the donuts good though?

Same though

Here a guide for anyone who is interested

I can't believe they made Ned Flanders a real person!

Andy grew up...

Another satisfied customer

My kids went all-out for Senior Citizens day at school.

Valentine Attack

so ya u gai

That son of a ***! I'll kill him!

Chastity belt

Horse

The new NASA XEMU suits look like sad George Michael

There's a little Nigel in us all

He has a Point ...

a story as old as time itself

Stretch

my wife is tough as nails, but can't stand minor discomfort

unnscnsncs

High Maintenance

Hollywood actors and their stunt doubles

Rugs for sale!

Cacaw

We all did those things

I'm home

france nuts

that shitpost received a lot of engagement tho

This is how bored I am today

That was super, man!

When the radio plays "Let Me Love You " but can't fit it all on the screen

Hippopotato

̶p̶r̶o̶p̶a̶g̶a̶n̶d̶a̶ breh

Bing the search engine for the Empire

Behind the Filter

Milking the new meta

We will adopt a puppy so you won't be alone anymore! ... My cat