Tip for newlyweds

The ONLY reason shopping with mom was ever bearable in the 90s

so sad

dog anatomy

My daily attempt to listen to music

That time when Robert Downey Jr. found a loophole that let him do blackface and not get kicked out of Hollywood.

The cancer clinic my mom works for entered a Pumpkin Halloween contest yesterday, this is what they came up with

Do it

Gave out a lot of condiments last night. Costume=Candy, No Costume=Crushed Red Peppers, Grated Parm, Taco Sauce Packets

The best picture I’ve ever taken in my entire life.

Will-tle Debbie

Lmao poor guy.

Drawing a pair of eyes be like. . .

I won a $500 costume contest last night

Well, if that doesn't impress her...

Holy shit....

oh yes

We will see him again

Oh man!

Sunshine on today’s forecast

Accurate reflection of myself

Next, a plan to exact revenge...

My last what?

When Halloween is over but you’re still in the spirit

Nature facts

Never to early

Yep that’s pretty funny.

Wtf grandpa

Especially this month

Was looking at baby pool floats when I stumbled across this image. Is it just me or are those models in the background having a serious conversation?

Punctuation, problems.

She's not sold on my parents new dog.

Being an uncle to twins is about two things. Understanding how to beat the system and taking shortcuts.

Looks like my local gas station is ready for a shit show

relatable

Cannot stop laughing about this

i woke up and lost

At this point, yeah

Found a Paper Bag With the Same Material as this Sub

My Ladie

No Nut Forever

Coffee or tea?

A typical day of work for me

My Halloween costume. Turns out I have a lot of unresolved issues.

maybe you can catch something

　

My friend is storing his cello at my place. I occasionally send him updates on how it’s going.

The kiddo and I went as Boo and KITTY this year

2000 IQ Lincoln

November 1st

Didn't expect the second box

tell us more

People better stop assuming things

Exploit their true weakness

Baited

When your fisherman friend invites you over

he is right

This sign Coke put on our vending machine

I lost

Tasty dancing spaget

its over

Ha, got eem

Guys we gotta hurry and prepare!

That cat is freaking

Welcome to Frankenstein Place world

I gotta get one now

I love Emilia

I dare you to decipher the third panel.

Dwight: You're not Jim. Jim's not Asian. You seriously never noticed? Hey, hats off to you for not seeing race.

Me after Masterchef

Fcuk Censorship. Well played, Stephan.

Monsters

The difference a day makes.

NARUTOOO

66a9777f-3eed-4747-bd6c-897c1fa4455f

Receiving negative comments on a post that had already reached -10

Nein!

I wish it was me.

It is

I think it’s supposed to be Jerk Chicken

Boi

He spend exactly enough time drawing that panel

Stay indoors

Cats, damn cats

The dress does it all!

what a nice guy!

*cries*

yes

Where’d thanksgiving go?

Put me down! I need to get to Target already!

The wonders of earwax

Peak season.

TEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEE

spooky

Asked my wife to look for a Chucky mask so I could scare the kids. She's too innocent.

Sorority Village is a dick poking out your boxers.

My Mom is cleaning out the library at the preschool where she works and sent me this

My buddy sent me this yesterday.

Oopsies

Listening to AC/DC.