Write something about yourself. Try to be short and funny!
they call my dick, the sting
Mural on the wall at a local Ramen joint.
Emphasis on *sneezes*
wisdom beyond knowledge, the realization
modern crusades seems nice
R2D2 has had enough of your bullshit
oh you're walking towards me
Halseys p hot tho
Alabama in one picture.
♬ IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIFE!♫
Vroom vroom bby
Problem or no problem?
Upon closer inspection I realised it was a usb hub.
Today I learned Maya the Bee was cancelled because an artist put a dick carving in the background.
Can a smart person let me know what Rick is saying?
"I find your lack of faith disturbing"
I think we may have a poltergeist
N.Korea's capitalist system is the best in the world
That inappropriate moment
But also, my p ussy and my crack
Serbien muss sterbien
You had one job Tallahassee
this is big deal to newbies
All Set! Ready to roll
Who didn’t love pogs
Edibles sneak up on you.
Frog jumping to hyper space
Now you know!
Hire this man.
This is so true that it’s actually true
No String Shot either...
Vaping was always cool!
cool cartoon i found (:
This sign outside my local A/C repair place gives me a chuckle every time they change it
Hell seems nice
every 13 year old girl on snapchat
My grandfather turned 99 today!
The most dareing move of all!
We all scream
Found a 15 year old photo and my mom is trying to deny the fact that she used sharpie on the flash in our cats eyes.......
let him get his dog back
Tall as a bicycle
My wife confiscated this note from a student today on her first day of substitute teacher.
The autobahn does not conform to the laws of physics
Why so serious
he looks like he has the big stupid now
You can't spell "Steal" without "EA"
Masterclass from the master himself
Am jealous on NASA
do american kids really all have to draw a family tree or is it just a movie thing?
What a magnificent ᴄunt
An interesting concept
I accidentally gave this to a cashier and couldn't figure out why she was staring at my "quarter" for so long.
When your mom alpha
Put up in my high school’s library
I'm washing my ball
That would suck
*In deep booming voice* "Where the fuᴄk are my nuts human?"
Way to go Chad
Life is more like a straw
I cri evritiem
Happy Anniversary to this lil tub of pineapple cottage cheese - it has now survived SEVEN years in our work fridge without being thrown out! I take a picture with it each year.
Well that was..... Unexpected.
I'll die fapping
What a joker..
We're all in this together
so we don't accidentally call them
Will The Big Woman Be There?
This is either very daunting or motivational.
My liya trying to fake a fit when brought a new kitty from shelter..SO CUTE!!
Know the feeling you get when the middle seat is open next to you on a flight? I can beat that...
Shake and run