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You're a dirty little pot aren't you
LaDY GetS BrUtaLlY OwNeD
My son sent me this "date isnt talking much, it's getting awkward"
Developer vs Tester.
OH YEAH
My divided cereal idea was only my 2nd best culinary creation... introducing the Startle!
I made a promise to draw a grumpy animal every single day for a year and it scares me how easy it was for this to become the highlight of my day. Day 20. only 346 days to go
Make Better Choices
What the hell happened there?
Still checking though
Mom bought a frying pan on Amazon. I wasn't disappointed.
Been in this grocery store several times and just noticed the sign today.
My town thought it would be a good idea to put those rental bikes in. Until this happened
This is every day
My daughter used markers to put “makeup” on her dolls. I tried to wash them. Cinderella had an especially rough night.
Poor guy just wants to sing.
Was trying to take a cute, sexy pic for my boyfriend when suddenly I lost my balance.
John Woke
He sandwich.
"The universe must have wanted us to run into each other today!"
Advanced dad jokes.
Separated at birth.
If only I was a famous actor
Coronavirus
Haha yes
I hate when this happens. It disappoints me immeasurably and ruins my day
Just following the doctors orders
Me at Jab inderview - Haha yes
Why yes, Amazon, I would be very interested in knowing when he writes something new
Day 5 of state of emergency: 5 o'clock somewhere....tiki snow fort time! Just have to dig the firepit out...
This hits different
It do be like that
Probably because he wants more food even though I JUST fed him.
Now I know how to approach people with this kinda tattoo
when i want to upload a long video but i quickly need it to be <6 MB
Refund policy
Googled baby weight after putting on a few pounds recently. Was not disappointed.
guilty as charged
There is no such thing as too much RGB
Walking order
Knowledge is overrated
Dummkopf.
busty wisdom
No vacancy
gone, like tears in the rain
Chewsy
I dont mind the latter
Lobster Royale
*** and ball torture
More sad than funny really, but a one in a million shot
Cool guys don't look at the explosion.
Eh, its just a scratch
Everyone deserves a chance to be loved
Maybe that island isolated from the rest of the world that killed anyone who might transmit diseases and viruses had the right idea.
If you can't see the virus, the virus can't see you
Wait a second... What the hell did I just see?
We have Brexit over here I guess
Any REM fans out there?
Life's hard, kid.
FREE CVS scarves...
where are u Craigy poo
Watchusaytome?
Beginning of the week vs the end of the week dealing with the public
God of Diodes.
And all of a sudden it was Sunday morning...the drugs had worn off, and Larry wasn't a hottie smuggler in a spaceship flying across the universe with his Wookie anymore.
The logic used by cats while eating
survival of the fittest
Pimp vader
What about the mile high club
Bernie 2020 - Make America Poor Again
I'm sorry for this
I finally found good use for my meal prep containers
Die I must
How to find Kentucky on the map!
fu*king furries
try tasting it
and y'all do nothing but beetch about it smh
/ourvirus/
Those poor people
Glad my room is to the left. For some reason the right side of this hotel floor doesn't sound peaceful.
Can I get an Awww man.
This house has not been unlocked yet.
It was a trap
Cats quotes: I may not be loyal as a dog is but i never gonna tell them where you keep your Drugs . I ain't no snitch!
My cousin’s art project for school. He is in second grade.
my dawg has a plan
Happy Australia Day!!
storks
Gnarly.
Me at the trials.
Wife put their baby's face on a t shirt and scared the hell out of dad during the rinse cycle!
I know someone is awake to appreciate this.
I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.
2020 everyone.
Day 19 of 366 of my promise to draw a grumpy animal every day and this hit me in the feels
Uno Por Favor
Too funny not to share
Letter from my sweatheart
This .
Swimming pool