The longer the to-do list, the more likely he is to show up.
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adult men these days
I almost feel bad
Eurobeat starts playing
Our neighbours think we have a hell hound. We have a carebear.
I told ya
love finds a way
go be a white flag somewhere else
The vehicle of choice
Dark Roasted Peanuts
But that's not how any of this works!
I bought heated insoles and I guess i’m going biking from now on.
Deepthought | 2020 | myself
Children are on a different level
Greek mythology be like
No more lies
It IS called DAYcare after all
My parents cat has started his own business. 10/10 recommend
“Gullivers Travels” kitty edition
McDonald’s throwing shade!
Give this man a degree.
Another impossible expectation for women.
A scarry puzzle
Why no one takes my sharpie!
The doctors are all out of patients
No waste policy
The first pre-war ghoul registered.
This guy has next level Dad jokes.
So if this is broken would it now be a... can’t opener?
Making comics is such a millennial thing to do
My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.
Machine Learning Captcha…
truly great war
The Popcorn death
I think it did
This left me Weezing
"Thank you for your input"
went to dinner, i paid, and he is still acting barely interested in me.
Ben Franklin, probably
Well that took a different turn
If I can’t see you I can’t hear you
Things that new husbands should not say to their wives.
I bought this for $5 at a Salvation Army. Money well spent.
living in a simulation
Let’s see your toddler clog this bad boy.
Pizza and Geography
Daughter asked me to draw a head for her wolf.
It happens to even the best of us
Someone took my seat while I was getting a fork
I need a fat man in an overcoat, quick!
So many takers
Have a chill.
A very important topic.
Oh, it's a boy!
He’s so happy
Why yes indeed, my dear fellow, traps are homosexual.
How to make a cute kitty.
“Sir, it should be the box that says chewy on it”
12 seasons in the Midwest
Will never stop doing this
Still a good doggo.
My brother is a dentist and that’s what I got from him for Christmas
Cultural appreciation in Pixar films
how i remembered that
Celebrating 35 years of people calling him Zelda
My mom swore she already made me a waffle, but we couldn’t find it. So she made another one and I grabbed a fork....
For your health!
This post is for dogs only
My wife does a great job throwing axes also
Skeptics, in space
I feel this mans pain
this is what niggas meant when they say "open the door to opportunity"