The longer the to-do list, the more likely he is to show up.

adult men these days

I almost feel bad

Standwich

Eurobeat starts playing

Our neighbours think we have a hell hound. We have a carebear.

woopsie daisy

I told ya

love finds a way

go be a white flag somewhere else

The vehicle of choice

Dark Roasted Peanuts

But that's not how any of this works!

I bought heated insoles and I guess i’m going biking from now on.

Deepthought | 2020 | myself

Children are on a different level

Greek mythology be like

No more lies

It IS called DAYcare after all

My parents cat has started his own business. 10/10 recommend

based tunes

“Gullivers Travels” kitty edition

Jtrgjkiytdsfbnk

McDonald’s throwing shade!

Give this man a degree.

Another impossible expectation for women.

A scarry puzzle

Hello?

Missing Sock

"Suspiciously close"

lucky lady

Why no one takes my sharpie!

The doctors are all out of patients

mood

No waste policy

self destruct

The first pre-war ghoul registered.

This guy has next level Dad jokes.

weird

So if this is broken would it now be a... can’t opener?

Making comics is such a millennial thing to do

yeah

accurate

My only regret in life is that I did not drink more wine.

egg

Machine Learning Captcha…

truly great war

tfw

@SilverTalon17

Speedrun challenge

Warning alert

cakefarts

o.O

The Popcorn death

I think it did

This left me Weezing

"Thank you for your input"

went to dinner, i paid, and he is still acting barely interested in me.

Ben Franklin, probably

Well that took a different turn

cyberpunk 2076

If I can’t see you I can’t hear you

Things that new husbands should not say to their wives.

I bought this for $5 at a Salvation Army. Money well spent.

living in a simulation

Let’s see your toddler clog this bad boy.

Pizza and Geography

Daughter asked me to draw a head for her wolf.

It happens to even the best of us

Someone took my seat while I was getting a fork

I need a fat man in an overcoat, quick!

So many takers

Have a chill.

Bono-Fett

A very important topic.

Oh, it's a boy!

He’s so happy

a moungus

June 21st!

Happy Sunday.

Why yes indeed, my dear fellow, traps are homosexual.

How to make a cute kitty.

Throne room.

"error" ;)

“Sir, it should be the box that says chewy on it”

dudders

12 seasons in the Midwest

Will never stop doing this

Top-tier immersion

Still a good doggo.

My brother is a dentist and that’s what I got from him for Christmas

Cultural appreciation in Pixar films

how i remembered that

Celebrating 35 years of people calling him Zelda

My mom swore she already made me a waffle, but we couldn’t find it. So she made another one and I grabbed a fork....

For your health!

This post is for dogs only

My wife does a great job throwing axes also

Skeptics, in space

I feel this mans pain