Vote Farris for President

That first email address... uugghh.

Will the SIMPs ever discover that there are free p*rn sites in the internet?

That’s how you know it’s true love

Funny date

Four

Amazon is not much optimistic about the future

I asked my dad why he wasn’t eating. He said his pork bun was staring at him defiantly

I'm gonna wipe out the entire population of africa

Name Something Better

:^)

$2000 bird warmer

This fight

Get the job done son

Spank the booty sandwich

Unhand me, Satan!

serious leek under the sink

Polish speedway fans wanted to see the match badly, so they got themselves 18 cranes

Turntables the how!

Must admit he looks pretty cool doe.

Medusa: 1 - Jesus: 0

yuyuyuyuyuyuyuyuy

Honk Honk

The forbidden stools

This exactly.

Friend from England is coming to visit Canada and stay in my guest room. Finally found a use for the bargain bin pillows I brought home from Japan. He is not allowed to remove them.

Fun at Walmart...

Im really excited to try this French grocery store that just opened on my block

No. ***ing.reason.

When Game Is Life

20 minutes of flavor in that semi.

Quick quip

As a Canadian, I can vouch for this

My best friend took a power nap on my floor and she was very productive during that time

Follow me for more fitness secrets

My mom chopped open a bell pepper today

Act of Love

''Be a dentist', they said. 'It's a steady job', they said.

The inside of a cheese grater, or the backdrop for a 2000s rap video?

Rules just ruin the fun

I didn't know that.

Sometimes you got to be direct

me, thinking about slov

The way my dogs fur wraps around her neck looks like she's wearing her very own fur coat

Hey thanks buddy

no victim no crime amirite brehs

Someone really doesn't want this cat to get out

“CAn I sPeAk tO tHe mAnaGer oF tHis gAlaXy”

That's a big Ben

I appreciated this bathroom sign

SWEET HOME ALABAMA

Stare at your reflection

tape the camera and the mic brehs

Some bleach please

Idiocracy gets better each time I watch it. A very underrated movie. Watch it if you haven’t.

It ain't easy being cheesy

no YOU were brehs with Epstein!

Title

This sad ball is funny

Joseph..

Hold it spiderman

My brother in law says it looks like a rat licked a battery

sipderman

Me and the boys looking for a game.

We'll never know...

It works every f**ing time

I'll admit it was a tight parking space but I squeezed into it. Never thought i’d have this left on my windshield for my accomplishment though.

After Life

:3‏‏‎ ‎

No homo tho

Ara ara in the distance

What the devil is going on here?

Excel: Invite e-girl to eat fig

Time to expand the Empire

d(ch)ad

brehmocrats and brehpublicans

The Bill Gates frame-of-reference

Fuᴄking racists

still brehferable to be yourself brehs

Thank you she's beautiful

Cry, Jon.

This car drove passed us. Deadass thought its just the skin. Its cars. Tiny cars. Fricking tiny cars.

Sad

I think we have a lead on this....

I bring news

when will this curse known as big pp end?

its canon harry potter

A lot to comprehend

bwombs uwu

too soon?

Shit posting on Next Door

Just your average recipe book

That kind of a year

Best prank ever. Found these keys outside my work. Called the number on them. Apparently, dozens of sets of these keys were spread all over our town and the guy had been getting calls all day.

Follow safety steps if you wanna live

Should you eat that bacon? Found at a bakery in Charlottesville

This guy was following me asking what year it is, what a weirdo..

Owl gets arrested

My fortune cookie paper

Okay, ouch, I didn't ask for this degree of truth today, but also yes